cop comments

[slowngreen]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police
car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any
redder that the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car,
I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document_"

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 2700 feet per
second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going?
I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift
supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will
determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair
is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat
cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and
my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone
who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women
tickets? You're right, we don't..
Sign here!"

 

[Suicide]

here is the other way around
3. i was on my way to bring you doughnuts
2. i thought you were racing me
1. i was going home to watch cops

 

[ajames942]

lmao!! There Great!

 

[RC Addict]

More funny boys with badges!

 

[MGT8.0owner]

lmao those are awsome

 

[abadk9420]

Nice one SNG!!!!!

 

[chelseafc385]

i havnt seen alpine lately

do you think hes trying to be a comedian? lol

 

[alpinehyperlite]

Swamped.... lots of crashes today....

 

[itsalifeworthliving]

TRUE STORY: i was getting arrested for an outstanding seatbelt warrant. cop asked me if i had any guns,knives or drugs on me and my answer was, "depends, are you going to check the trunk?".. he laughed soo hard he forgot to check the trunk!! but the funny thing is, I wasn't JOKING!!

 

[Suicide]

heres a true story. alright me and my dad got tickets to the dallas redskins game last year. we talgated so I had my 100$ knife on me. as were about to get patted down i relized i still had it on me. i put it in the breast pocket of my coat. and when the guy patted me down he didn't feel it. i got through the whole game with a knife on me.

 

[Amoeba]

Well if we're gonna swap stories...

I was 19 and had a Honda Hurricane crotch rocket. It was maybe 3am and I'm coming home from playing pool and get stuck at a stoplight. Anyone that rides bikes knows that sometimes you don't trip the sensor and can sit there for a long time waiting if no cars are around. After waiting for a few minutes on the damned light and with no sign of any cars, I hop off the bike real fast, run and hit the crosswalk signal, and run back to the bike. The light had changed and with my running jump on the bike I hit the throttle a little too hard and popped up the front end.

Being 19 (and stupid) I figured what the hell, I'll just ride this wheelie for a while. Having been on bikes all my life riding a wheelie for a mile is easy.... then I hit the next stoplight. I dropped down, hit the front brakes, and popped up the rear end into a rolling stoppie. Just as the light changed I dropped the rear down, hit the gas, and popped up into a wheelie again.

During all this I failed to notice the cop who had been parked at the initial stoplight where I made my crosswalk signal dash. I also failed to notice he had been following me for the last mile. As he was writing out the ticket he said, "Kid, that was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Also one of the stupidest. Here's your ticket."


$1280 ticket.

 

[olds97_lss]

$1280 ticket.

Oooooooooooooooo that stings!

I liked #1 on the first list!

 

[insaneatvs]

Those are toooooooooo funny

 

[RC Addict]

OK, time for my no B.S. story. Just got my '69 Camaro running. Took it out for a "little break-in". Was tooling around and a '84 Vette wanted to play. Well we BOTH got pulled over. He got a ticket for speeding and was on his way.

Cop comes to me next. Let's see...

No Insurance.

No registration.

No license (left it in my other pair of shorts).

No Vehicle Inspection.

No seat belts.

Exhibition of speed.

Reckless driving.

AND doing 86 in a 45 MPH zone.

Cop says to me, "You know what eight tickets is gonna cost you?" I said, "Do you know my uncle, SGT. Jansen? He says, "Get that car home now!"

Lucky that he actually DID know my uncle. Not lucky that he told him all about it...













Remind me sometime to tell ya'll about the time I ran the Border Crossing Checkpoint and had U.S. Customs draw down on me...

 

[Rolex]

TRUE STORY: i was getting arrested for an outstanding seatbelt warrant. cop asked me if i had any guns,knives or drugs on me and my answer was, "depends, are you going to check the trunk?".. he laughed soo hard he forgot to check the trunk!! but the funny thing is, I wasn't JOKING!!

I've heard that if you're going to carry something illegal, it's a good idea to keep a body in the trunk. They get so distracted by it that they don't check for anything else.