Does anybody else deal with this?

[godale03]

Hey guys,

Does anybody else out there in RCNT land have to deal with a wife or GF that gives you a hard time about the hobby that is RC?

Things like,

Not understanding that I really love to race. I don't race every weekend. I know I have to compromise, and my family always comes first. My LHS has a late summer points series that only lasted 4 races and I wanted to take a shot and see if I could compete. Well I am starting to get looks when I ask her about racing this coming weekend. I have two weekends left including this weekend. After that racing is over for the year for me. I may get an opportunity to go practice here and there, but for the most part it is over until the spring.

My wife is more than understanding about what I spend, and how I spend my time most of the time. But I get a comment about money every now and again and about how much time I spend doing it. I get acused of not puting my family\husband duties first. It is just kinda frustrating, because I think I do a good job at balancing.

Just a bit frustrated... and was wondering if anybody else deals with the same thing. I mean this my hobby and I love it, but it will never be as important as my family.

Tom

 

[WoodiE]

Lucky for me my girlfriend really likes my RC's, and in fact likes to try to drive them from time to time.

Here lately I haven't ran my FG Monster truck and have been playing on the computer - I think she'd love to see me away from the computer and doing anything else right now.




-Michael

 

[bentover]

No wife, no problems, just a pair of sleepy hands.

 

[godale03]

I must be the only one then.

There has to be a happy medium between my husband\father duties and still enjoy my RC time. The biggest gripe is not so much the racing which is only a couple times a month, but the maintenance that is involved in RC. I rarely ever have time to go over and clean the RC's much. So when I get to the track I am running around trying to fix little problems that I could have taken care of during the week. Instead I miss practice time because I am doing PM that I should have been able to do during the week.

 

[beason]

my gf came to me once, and told me i had to deside. Her or the RC's..

man I'm gonna miss her....

J/K, when i did have a gf she was understanding to an extent, but would at times give me greef about the time, and money this hobby takes. your not alone man, and it doesn't matter what you do, they will always find something to complain about. there women that is what they do...

if you stopped completely and just focused on her and your "dad" duties, she would eventually complain that you dont do anything for yourself and that you spend to much time around her....

sounds like your doing a good job if you only get greef on occasion. just be sure to be strait with her, hold to your word, and explain why you want to do these races.

 

[vbgagnon]

Your not the only one! I get the "Stupid $&CKING RC" comments all the time. Just take it in and she'll let you go.

 

[savagefan04]

you're not alone. i have the same issue. its part of being married. haha. my wife is cool about the spending part, its the time part that she hates. since there are no local tracks near me, if i go its a whole day affair. i've just learned to accept the fact that organized racing for me is not going to happen for the next couple years. does it suck, yes. but i'd rather lose that minor battle then the whole war.

 

[godale03]

It just frustrates the sh** out of me sometimes. I try and find balance, and sometimes it is not easy. There is so much that she wants done around the house, and I do need to make that a higher priority sometimes, I'll admit that. I only have the summer months to race and the winter months are spent working in and around the house, mostly in though. I understand that there are certain things that need to be done, but it seems the projects never end and that my time with the RC's shorter and shorter. RC is not only something I enjoy, but it is my "release" so to speak. I enjoy nothing more at the end of a hard day than going down in the basement and tinkering with the rigs for a little while. It is not like I come straight home and head downstairs. I help with dinner, and cleaning up from dinner, and help with the little man. It just seems I can't win, and I just wish I could help her understand that this is something that I truly enjoy and that despite her fears is not going to ever come between her or our family, ever. It is just something that I enjoy.

 

[sweetdiesel]

I hear ya Tom. I had this exact same conversation with my wife a few months ago. Seems she felt like sometimes I put the RCs before the family. For me, racing is a week long affair. Three or four days before the race is spent in the garage trying to get the cars prepped. The day of the race I wake up at 6 AM and start packing the car for the 90 mile drive to the track. I'm there the entire day and head back home around 5-5:30. If traffic isn't too bad I get back in time to have dinner with the family. I consider myself lucky if I get to race once a month.

The wife and I eventually ironed out the issue by explaining that RCs are my only outlet. Racing once a month is fine, as long as I'm not neglecting the family the week before the race. Unfortunately racing once a month means I'll never get to compete in the other local races which have points series.

With the birth of your child right around the corner your wife is probably concerned that you spend so much time with the RCs and that when the baby comes you won't be breaking your habits. My suggestion is to drop the points series and prove to her that your family comes first. There will be plenty of time for racing later on down the road, and racing becomes much more enjoyable when you know the wife and family are fully supporting you.

 

[beason]

it will get better man, sounds like you help out alot around the house, that is great man. maybe to to explain to her what you just told us about the release, the relaxation.. what does she do to relax?

just explain to her that this is your out, and without it things will build up, and you are not responsible for the result..

kinda like dont get between a smoker and his cigs? or a coffe drinker and the pot.

 

[stang50]

i can not work becouse i screwed up my back really bad so other the my kids all i have is my rc my wife is glad i have something to do and spend time haveing fun i pretty much have a open check book when it comes to my toys she said it was better then me going out and partying

 

[Timmahh]

Tell them you can always sell the RCs and buy a 1:1 race car or Dirt Bike, and spend 5x as much money and time in the ER. lol
T

 

[jon2]

I am pretty bleesed with having a wife that understands me and the hobby. I also have an understanding that I also need to make sure I do not leave her holding the house up by herself. She always tell people when that she doesn't mind the hobby. She likes it too. She says that this hobby is better than me spending my money on alcohol or strip bars. Can you I argue? NOPE. Money is tight so she wanted me to sell her gear.

This hobby for me is a way for me to relax and unwind. Bruning nitro for me is a great way to blow off some steam.

Explain to your wife so that she can understand you. Telling her "its my way only" will get you no where. Be understanding so she may understand you.

 

[Rolex]

I spend a fortune on women, alcohol and RC. The rest I just waste.

 

[godale03]

Thanks for the insight and advice guys. It helps out alot. SweetD you make some really good points, and you are right, I will probably have to drop the points racing once the little one arrives. I am facing that reality with every day that passes. It is just that I enjoy the competition aspect of this hobby very much. It gets me out with "my own kind" so to speak. I get to talk shop, talk a little smack and have a great time. It will be tough to walk away from, but hey, I know that in time I will be able to race again... I hope I just may have to settle for once a month or so and not worry about the points. Right now I am sitting second in points with 2 races to go. I am only about 40points out of first. Anyway, I digress... You also are right on the money... racing is so much more enjoyable when I know that while I am there she supports me... going to race after an arguement or while knowing she is not cool with it... it tough.

Jon,

I am truly blessed to have met and married my wife. I love her more than anything. For the most part she is ok with the RC thing, but to her it is playing with toys, and work always comes before playing. Problem is, there is always some sort of work that needs to be done. I have tried using the point I work, I should be able to play... wrong move there! You also make a valid point about making sure I explain to her that it is an outlet... not my only outlet. I am guilty of that one too. LOL I am newly married... I am learning some things the hard way.

Either way... it is nice to know I am not alone. Sometimes she makes me feel so stupid that I play with toys I almost want to sell them... although I come to my senses quickly.

Thanks again for listening guys.

Tom

I spend a fortune on women, alcohol and RC. The rest I just waste.

LMAO!!!

 

[kazi]

I see that most of us have to deal with wifes. That's why I'm trying to introduce my kids into de hobby, it will be the perfect excuse to go to the tarack, allthough I know I'll have to wrench more than race. This year I've only raced 4 times and there is 2 more races pending, that will make only 6 r/c weekends in one year:\. that's why I entered into crawling, I allways have my crawler in my car and burn a couple batteries everytime we go out with the kids.

 

[godale03]

I see that most of us have to deal with wifes. That's why I'm trying to introduce my kids into de hobby, it will be the perfect excuse to go to the tarack, allthough I know I'll have to wrench more than race. This year I've only raced 4 times and there is 2 more races pending, that will make only 6 r/c weekends in one year:. that's why I entered into crawling, I allways have my crawler in my car and burn a couple batteries everytime we go out with the kids.

Hey Kazi,

I did the same thing. I bought my stepson a 18B and he has fun with it, although at 6 doesn't have all the fine motor skills yet so he gets frustrated alot. My hope is that he will take to RC and it can be something we do together. Although I promised my wife I would not force RC on him. If he wants to get involved I will make sure I am there to help, but it has to be his decision. She did make the comment that maybe I need to practice with him more so that he can get better. I took that as an open invite to bash around the yard with him more. She said that maybe I need to bring it up to him more. I thought that was cool. I always waited until he asked, I figured she would view me asking him as trying to force it. Hopefully my stepson will take to RC... if he doesn't that is ok as well. Maybe my wife and I will be blessed with another son and I will start planting the RC bug early! LOL Heck even if we have a daughter, maybe she will take to RC? Anyway... I have only raced 4 times this year myself and hoping to get to 6. LOL

Tom

 

[TalonOne]

Balance, is the word that come to mind here for sure. My wife has her moments....I had to make her the official "PIT GIRL" so she felt involved. When I am testing and or just running in the yard she gets me gas and drinks and tools I left in the house. At the Track she runs to get me food and makes sure we have all of the supplies before we leave the house. She even takes her trun at marshelling.

I am building her a buggy just now ...pink and all so she can dirve with me.

On the flip side when she NEEDS something done around the house I jump to it.....so she does not have to bitch...... and ultimately get put in her place......

BALANCE...

 

[kazi]

if he is 6 is just at the beggining to learn, mine are 2 and 4, and the right left issue is not really clear :LoL: same as brake, that's why I let them race the crawlers only, they don't get so frustrated because they don't crash so often. The girl has a pink body and the boy a lighting Mcqueen, the boy with only two years is allready hooked with r/c and is allways asking to go outside with the car, that's good for me:LoL:.

 

[godale03]

Balance, is the word that come to mind here for sure. My wife has her moments....I had to make her the official "PIT GIRL" so she felt involved. When I am testing and or just running in the yard she gets me gas and drinks and tools I left in the house. At the Track she runs to get me food and makes sure we have all of the supplies before we leave the house. She even takes her trun at marshelling.

I am building her a buggy just now ...pink and all so she can dirve with me.

On the flip side when she NEEDS something done around the house I jump to it.....so she does not have to bitch...... and ultimately get put in her place......

BALANCE...

Great point Talon.... Balance is key. Also like you said.. when she brings something up that she wants done... I should make a more consious effort to jump on it and get it done.

I wish she wanted to be included in my RC's. She has no desire to help me out or be involved for that matter. I have asked her if she wanted to get an RC I would help, but she declined. I don't think she has ever driven a single RC that I own. Maybe I ought to try again....

Tom