Truths for Mature people

[Hunter]

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
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There is great need for a sarcasm font.
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How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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Was learning cursive really necessary?
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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
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Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
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I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
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Bad decisions make good stories.
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You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
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Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
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I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
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I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
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I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
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I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
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I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
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How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
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Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
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Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
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Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

 

[hamz9561]

As I get older, the more I hate TV commercials.

This is great! Let's continue adding stuff.

 

[slowngreen]

Stuff...

 

[Skwerly]

Oh this was good for a few "LOLs". Great stuff here! I'll see if i can add a few from personal experience.

* I now get slightly annoyed when friends invite me out on Fri or Sat because i'd really rather just sit at home.

* Driving somewhere on a weekend night makes me nervous because of "all the drunks out".

* PLEASE put the toilet paper flap OVER the roll.

* I like to keep my tires at the correct pressure so i get the best mileage possible. at 21 i couldn't care less if i rolled on flats.

* Hot high school girl walking with her mom, and i'm checking out her mom...

* I watch kids hauling azz on their bike or skateboard and think, that's how folks get really hurt....

 

[hamz9561]

Great Scott! That's Heavy!

 

[neobart]

Oh this was good for a few "LOLs". Great stuff here! I'll see if i can add a few from personal experience.

* I now get slightly annoyed when friends invite me out on Fri or Sat because i'd really rather just sit at home. Sometimes, yes.

* Driving somewhere on a weekend night makes me nervous because of "all the drunks out". Wouldn't know, don't own a car.

* PLEASE put the toilet paper flap OVER the roll. Yup.

* I like to keep my tires at the correct pressure so i get the best mileage possible. at 21 i couldn't care less if i rolled on flats. Still, no car.

* Hot high school girl walking with her mom, and i'm checking out her mom... I'm checking out both.

* I watch kids hauling azz on their bike or skateboard and think, that's how folks get really hurt.... Yup.

I often wonder how todays teens keep their pants from falling to the ground. They seem to be held in place by sheer will alone.

 

[Rolex]

I often wonder how todays teens keep their pants from falling to the ground. They seem to be held in place by sheer will alone.

I feel sorry for Will, if that's the only job he could get.

 

[neobart]

Indeed.

Keeping butt cracks from showing is not a glamorous job. Maybe you should employ will?

 

[Rolex]

It's too late. Since I found my warm flannel shirt, I took my pants off.

 

[Skwerly]

LOL! you guys are too much.

 

[olds97_lss]

That phone call you get just as your closing your computer at work at 4:58 will undoubtedly be the VP of something...

 

[HPIguy]

As I get older, the more I hate broadcast TV.

Fixed it for my own POV as I get older.

These are great, I love 'em

I remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous.

These are my own observations

I remember when telephones made phone calls, and nobody in their right mind would type a small novel to communicate with each other.

I remember when America built more than just debt, bankruptcy, and broken homes.

I remember when the news was actually informative

I still have a bad ass stereo system in my car, that almost never get louder than 1/10th volume.

 

[Skwerly]

I remember when those who screamed were dialing 911, not putting out rock albums.

 

[Rolex]

I remember when I was a kid, this was a free country.
I also remember part of yesterday.

 

[NitroRC4Life]

I remember when I was a kid, this was a free country.
I also remember part of yesterday.

ROTFLMFAOO!!! WOW rolex that is just too funny!!

 

[Metalhead Matt]

You'll see the truth in it in about 20 years bud.

 

[hamz9561]

I still have a bad ass stereo system in my car, that almost never get louder than 1/10th volume.

I know the feeling. It's kind of fun to pull up on a kid in a hopped-up Honda Civic and be able to out thump him! ::::

 

[HPIguy]

I know the feeling. It's kind of fun to pull up on a kid in a hopped-up Honda Civic and be able to out thump him! ::::

I know right? The look on their faces is priceless too

"Is graybeard really listening to Tec 9?"