Interesting thread with a lot of good stuff in here. I'm either having an Oprah moment or it's the bad deviled eggs I had with dinner last night, but I feel nauseous!
I'm going to break from the pack and share some of the pitfalls that have befallen my wife and I as we approach our 10 year anniversary. I'm not going to continue with the "don't go to bed angry" or "learn to communicate" advice shared already. Good stuff to be sure, but I'm not going to repeat what's been presented. So, here goes:
1. Religion. Whether or not either of you are religious or not, it's important to at least discuss it before you finalize the deal. You may both feel you are on the same page now, but make sure. I knew my wife had a Mormon upbringing throughout her child hood, but when we met, she was the absolute anti-Mormon (smoked, drank and man did we do some weird, and fun, poop in the bedroom!) Throughout the first 7-8 years of our marriage, we never attended church or anything of that sort. Now, within the last 18+ months, she has gone full force back into the church, which has really caused some problems that we continue to work through even today. I have nothing personally against the Mormon faith. I personally find it borderline cultish, but nonetheless, it brings her personal satisfaction and gratification. Additionally, we both agreed that neither would "push" our personal beliefs with our children, and for that I give her all the credit in the world. The subject can become a Pandora's box if not careful, and I'd be lying if I did not say that during several conversations, the subject of divorce came up. Thankfully, both of us agreed that splitting up would not solve anyone's problem, but rather create more. I am merely saying, it's a subject worth discussing if it hasn't already been discussed.
2. Children. Yeah, they sure are fun to make and do bring a true joy to your life, but these little boogers are EXPENSIVE! Before you go down the baby-making road, make sure you are ready! As has been mentioned, travel now and make your fun, because when a kid comes into the world, as a husband and father, you become the third, fourth fifth etc. most important person in your family, depending on how many kids you have. There may be some that disagree with me, but my experience has shown, having a 7 year old son and a 3 year old daughter, wouldn't matter if my peepee got stuck in a combine, hockey practice is tonight, damnit! You gotta haul your kid and all his poop there, come hell or highwater. Learn and accept the phrase, "I am third" and put it into the context of your family.
3. Will. Not to sound morbid, but as soon as you get back from the honeymoon, make it a point to get a will together, especially with power of attorney and all that. When my wife and I sat down with our attorney to make our will, the lawyer shared that he wished more young married couples did this. My Dad gave me that advice and that, along with the nugget of "only fiddlesticks the ones that cough" have served me well.
4. Have fun. Like being involved in R/C, marriage should not be seen as a job, although it will FEEL like a job (and a bad one at that) sometimes. Don't forget to simply enjoy being married.
Congratulations and best wishes, man!
