Due to the increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning lables be placed immediatly on all containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you have mystical kung-fu powers resulting in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The cunsumption of alchol may cause you roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lowerback.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter,faster and better looking that most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a laps in the time-space continuum, wherby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
This for all of us that consumed a drink or two in the past.
:spit:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you have mystical kung-fu powers resulting in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The cunsumption of alchol may cause you roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lowerback.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter,faster and better looking that most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a laps in the time-space continuum, wherby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
This for all of us that consumed a drink or two in the past.
:spit:
