From your experience how long do batteries last when charged at 40 amps?
All depends on the brand... most budget brands will last anywhere between 6 months to a year and a high end brand might last a year or longer.
Main issue with batteries is heat... doesn't matter what brand I've ran (close to a dozen I've tested over the years) they all start swelling and IR fade in the heat of summer typically when ambient temps are above 110°F+
Do you just charge them after race when voltage is like 3.9, 3.8v or you discharge it all the way down and then charge?
For Open Mod classes yes, after a 5 min qual + 2 min of practice (close to 7 min run) of hard racing which tends to pull a lot more current than bashing around in the yard my 4S-5.2Ah pack in my eBuggy will typically be in the 3.8v/cell range and I will put about 3.5Ah back into the pack
For Stock Racing on 2S I will do the same thing unless I'm on the bubble in the B-Main, then I will cycle to 3.4v/cell just before each race... and I typically cycle before every main regardless in stock.
Note that 40A charge rate is not constant, it might spend a few seconds at 40A and it quickly drops in a reverse exponential curve through the CCCV process. The bulk of the time in a typical 10 min charge is under 10A.
I believe the damage caused by charging 40A is no worse than the high rate discharge where my packs are averaging the same lifespan of the packs I used to charge at 10A many years ago when I had a lower limit charger back then.
Yes, charging at 1C is safer and causes less damage, but it's a moot point if you're gonna drive in extreme conditions on a race track.
For a casual basher who doesn't need peak performance, then 40A charge is not necessary, just a convenience where I only race 1 pack per car and keep a spare pack only for bumps and when the IR starts to fade on the primary pack.