Things that make you go hmmmm

[NooP]

Something a friend emailed me.

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out?"


2. Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that
comes outta it's butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
freezer?



4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a song about him?



5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the
carpool lane?



6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking
for the time, but don't point to their crotch when
they ask where the bathroom is?



7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when
you get undressed if they are going to look up
there anyway?



8 Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains
on all fours? They're both dogs!



9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?



11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil
made from?


12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?


13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?



14. Stop singing and read on..........



15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?



16. Why is it that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him
on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?



17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?

 

[El Pirata]

Originally posted by NooP
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Don't have an answer for that one.

Originally posted by NooP
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Nor that one.

Originally posted by NooP
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Nor that one.

Originally posted by NooP
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

This must be one of the great secrets of the universe.

Originally posted by NooP
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

No the question should be, can someone with a blow up doll travel in the carpool lane?

Originally posted by NooP
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

You mean you don't do that when you need to hit the head?

Originally posted by NooP
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

So how often do you visit the OB/GYN clinic?

Originally posted by NooP
8 Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Who said Goofy was a dog?

Originally posted by NooP
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

One would notice that his ACME stuff never worked well for him either, that might explain why he was not smart enough to think about buying dinner.

Originally posted by NooP
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Testicles.

Originally posted by NooP
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

The babies from the S&M Man song.

Originally posted by NooP
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

That's one of the greatest truths of the world.

Originally posted by NooP
13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

You mean they're not the same song?

Originally posted by NooP
14. Stop singing and read on..........

Bang, you got me on that one!

Originally posted by NooP
15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

They think of it like we think of chicken noodle soup.

Originally posted by NooP
16. Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Because more dogs are smarter than their owners.

Originally posted by NooP
17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

The fast trackers think so. Maybe they are onto something others don't know.




Dude, how could you forget the Tickle Me Elmo one....

 

[Diver6127]

1. Wouldn't you want to squeeze a nipple that big? Milk was just a product of the action.
2. Probably the same person that first milked the cow.
3. Cooked food has to be sorted through. Frozen dinners are kept in the freezer door so it's readily visable.
4. Jimmy wrote the song about himself. It's called self pitty.
5. Nope, a dead person is considered cargo. A passenger is a live human.
6. It's already obvious you gotta go to the bathroom by the way you're walking.
7. It gives the woman a chance to double check for cleanliness. And the doctor a chance to get some really strong gum to chew with his mask on just in case she doesn't check.
8. I'm stumped on that one.
9. Wile E Coyote ... Genius - genius's have a tendency to be over achievers .... he was on a mission.
10. I ain't answering that one.
11. Johnsons's baby oil is made from Mineral oil and fragrance.
12. It comes from morals. Without them where would you be?
13. Same author/artist
14. wasn't singing
15. Do you know what the effect is? Do most people care other than filling their stomachs?
16. Brush your teeth first. Don't you get angry when a dog breaths in your face after eating?
17. No, but if it makes you feel better, keep pressing it.

 

[Domination]

am i the only one with a light in my freezer?

 

[NCNitro]

Here's another one... Why do drive thru atm machines have brail on the buttons?

I have a light in my freezer too.

 

[robmob]

Me too.

 

[Skyline Racer]

thats a good pt. on the ATM thing haha

 

[KoRnKiD]

I never thought of that about the ATM things it must be a universal keypad that they put in every ATM machine.

 

[Mike02vr6]

I have a light too.

why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
why do we call the apartments when they are all stuck together?

just my

 

[mcvickj]

Why do people ask for a super sized meal but then ask for a diet coke?


You got me on #14. lol

 

[Çh®i§tiªñ]

Why is it you love the smell of your own farts but can't stand the smell of anyone elses?

 

[NooP]

Çh®i§tiªñ Why is it you love the smell of your own farts but can't stand the smell of anyone elses?

That one is too tru....LOL.....


Try printing this out and giving it to someone to read. It funny as hell cuz you know right when they get to number 14.

--NooP

 

[FRIDGE]

you must have one of those old fridges because my fridge has a light in both. the light may have been eliminated in smaller designs for the fect that a ligth bulb is a source of heat and you dont want heat somewhere that supposed to be cold also what happens if you leave the door open?

number 14 is because the alphabet was such a hit they tried it with another lyrics.

number 8. because goofy is gangsta like that!

 

[gutterboy]

good one about the ATM NCNitro. Goofy is a dog. I guess he is more intelligent then that dumbass Pluto.:breakdown

 

[jon2]

Why does Donald Duck not wear any pants but wear a towel around his waist after he takes a shower?

Donald Duck....what the hell does he say?