Sad, Sad Day.....

[Plaidfish]

Sorry to hear that man...your life just got harder for her mistake I'm sure.....

 

[whuggs1]

Oh don't even go there .....LOL Last month this guy and some ex-convict buddy came to vist Her, slept in there car and changed clothes in our driveway. There not allowed in our house !

Lets not hijack this post anymore.

 

[beason]

I ask myself every time why I bend over backwards. Every time I come up with the same answer.... I love her.

sound so me like your bending over frontwards...

 

[godale03]

At first I thought her family might be Amish or something the way you described the constant work and no play rules, the farm, and working every minute of the day. Then you mentioned that your fiancee has the PhD.

I notice your sign on is "godale03", presumably for Dale Earnhardt. That means you are most likely a Nascar fan. Will this have to stop too? How much more will you be asked to give up as time goes on?

Also, as someone else pointed out, she is marrying you, not her family. Unless you plan to live with them for a long time, if at all, they really should be told by her that your personal life, as long as it is clean, belongs to you, If, however, she is siding with her parents, then you are doomed. She will always make you do what she wants, and doing it by guilt is NOT the way a relationship works.

For background, I got married at 35 to a gal who is 8 years younger than me. One of the reasons I picked this gal is that I feel in order to make a relationship work, one of the first things you must have is the love and respect of the in-laws, which I do have. That makes the marraige soooo much easier. (remember, "She's your problem now"?)

Also, one the reasons to work hard, and I am all for working hard, as I typically work 10-12 hours per day most days, is that then we can get to a point in our lives where we have a little extra money to spend on things we want to use for entertainment, not just our basic needs.

Take some time and really look at the future. Also, how does she have a 4 year old? Previous marraige? If so, why is it over? Or is the daughter from another non-marital relationship? What happened there?

Hey Revo,

You make a great point. I wish my internet connection wasn't down this weekend. I would have gotten a chance to read all of this great advice. Man no one in this site knows who I am, but you guys rallied around me and gave me alot of great advice and more support than I could have ever imagined. You guys are great!

To answer your question Revo, I am a huge NASCAR fan, not as much as I was before Dale was killed but still a fan none the less. I do watch as much racing as I can, but she and I have an understanding that I am not going to sit down every Sunday and watch every race. It has worked out great. I let her know that there is a race I would like to watch this week and she says no problem. It was an easy compromise. I don't know why this issue is so hard to find a compromise on. She was married once and the marriage ended amicably, and both parties agreed and it was a very smooth breakup. I am not real sure why the marriage ended though. I try to stay out of it as much as I can. I do know it was his idea though.

 

[godale03]

Hey, we haven't heard from godale03 in awhile, and he usually posts quite often.

R/C buddy, if I (even we) said anything untoward to you and your love, we mean it in the best interests of and for you, based upon our reading of your post. If I owe you an apology, then let me know. You certainly got a variety of responses, and if some of them, mine included, offended, I apologize.

No my friend, no offense at all taken, from any one of these posts. I realize exactly what you guys are saying and I would have spent all weekend posting back, but I was not able to get online this weekend. So I will spend as much time as I can today and the rest of the week answering any questions and thanking everyone for all the help and support. There is no greater experience in life than to live it.

 

[godale03]

godale03,
This might be too personal but is this the first girl you have slept with? I have always been told that your first time with another person often leads to loving them; going through this right now with my step daughter that has a 9 month old baby and she just turned 18 I also went through this myself a few years back with a girl for 6 years, :shrug: and finally broke it off. I wrote down all the pros and cons and cons won !

Now I’m married and as happy as can be, I met a girl on line and moved from OC,CA to PH,AZ to be with her. My wife is awesome and her family is great! My wife love’s quading, camping and all the fun stuff you will miss out on. My wife even bought me my first dirt bike and just let me buy my Tmaxx.

I know it is hard, but if you want to be happy don’t get married yet and never let anyone or there family change you or run your life, I’m 37 by the way.

Best of luck godale03. Follow your heart !

No this is not the first, far from that. Before I met her I was in a 4 year relationship that went no where fast. That girl tried to change me, and it took me four years to show her the door. Of course she started giving it to another man... so it made the decision very easy! :boxing: I do know what you were saying though. This particular girl wasn't the first, but I do remember my first, and as we all I know you never forget your first. I was in love with her too.... but only because she was my first... So I know where you are coming from.

Tom

 

[godale03]

Hey guys,

First off, I would like to appologize to the Mods, Owners, and Admin staff of this site. I am sorry for all the replys back to back. I am not spaming or whoring, just want to reply to all of those offering help and support. I was off work on Friday, and was not able to get online this weekend. Thanks again guys. You have given me alot to ponder and so tough questions to ask myself. I know this site is to discuss RC related material, so again Mods, I appologize. If you have to delete this thread I understand and mean no disrespect at all.

To all,

I started talking with her this weekend and I think we have made some headway. She understands that she can't change me and if she can't except me for who I am then the relationship is doomed. She said that she was not trying to change me and that she understands what makes me happy... well at least in one aspect of my life. We are continuing to talk and as for now... we are not going to rush into a marriage. We realize that we need to work out a few things before we can make that kind of commitment. She just wants to know that I will not put off the work that NEEDS to be done and not let it get in the way of our family. As long as the work that needs to be done is getting done, then she knows that I need time for myself. We are still going to date, and there was no blame placed. We are going to work on this together, and hey.... I even got to run the bug a bit on Sunday. Was a great day. We have a way to go, but I will keep you posted. Keep the great advice coming though! I could really use it! Thanks

Tom

 

[NCNitro]

Good deal, looks like you made a step in the right direction. I hope it all works out for the best for ya.

 

[godale03]

Good deal, looks like you made a step in the right direction. I hope it all works out for the best for ya.

Yeah, me too. It is just something we need to work out and if we really care for each other we will take the time to do it right. I just want to appolgize for all the responses back to back. I just wanted to take the time to answer all the folks who took the time to give me their advice... which was greatly appreciated. Thank you all.

Tom

 

[Plaidfish]

you can only tell her ho wthis is affecting you...if she chooses to continue to demand things like stop playing w/ your toys then you have to make the decision as to what you want to do...none of us here know your day to day life so we are not trying to tell you what to do....I think you made the first step to making a stand for yourself in the deal here and that seems to be a good start.....hop it all works out in the end....break in th engine fully yet?????

 

[godale03]

you can only tell her ho wthis is affecting you...if she chooses to continue to demand things like stop playing w/ your toys then you have to make the decision as to what you want to do...none of us here know your day to day life so we are not trying to tell you what to do....I think you made the first step to making a stand for yourself in the deal here and that seems to be a good start.....hop it all works out in the end....break in th engine fully yet?????

Yeah, you are right in the fact that all I can tell her is how this affects me. I told her that we would have to find a happy medium with this or we would both grow to resent each other, which she agreed. She also said that she blew the whole thing way out of proportion. The funny thing Plaid, is that she has not tried to change a thing about me.... except my bad habit of using poor grammar. Which like you said... bad habits I have no problem with... you know the whole being a better person thing... but as far as my interest you guys are right... time to take a stand. I hope everything works out ok, but for now things are good. We came to an understanding this weekend. Hopefully it will all work out.


Now as far as the RG.... I have had 6 tanks through it and am up to about 3/4 throttle for a few seconds.... wicked fast already...... one thing though... it keeps cutting out after a bit, always on decelleration. Fires right back up though. When firing it back up though I have to give it a little throttle to get it back up. Is this normal, or is the opening in the carb to small? Thanks dude. If you would like I can just post this under the 1/8 forum.

Tom

 

[JESSE G]

I have been reading this post and glad to hear you where able to sit down and talk with her this weekend, I'm 30 and have been married for 7 yrs when I met her she already had 2 kids now we have 4. I still play with my toys lol and she is cool with that, she told me she thinks I would loose my mind if I diddnt have my Rc,s to keep me occupied when I have free time. Its a lot better than spending money/time and the bar . I hope everything works out for you both and you have a good life together and with your toys lol good luck bro.

 

[Plaidfish]

sounds like you need to turn your idle screw in a little....I just had a fun weekend w/ mine....I didn't seal the carb throat and I have a pin hole air leak...just enough to mess with the idle settings......if I let it Idle high it would run but I was chasing a tune all day cause of it.....drove me nuts....but I was runnin it like a bat outa hell.....

 

[JESSE G]

Diddnt break anything Plaid? Woo hooo lol

 

[godale03]

sounds like you need to turn your idle screw in a little....I just had a fun weekend w/ mine....I didn't seal the carb throat and I have a pin hole air leak...just enough to mess with the idle settings......if I let it Idle high it would run but I was chasing a tune all day cause of it.....drove me nuts....but I was runnin it like a bat outa hell.....

Think it is too rich on the idle side? You know that is what I thought it might be..... Wasn't sure though. Man that RG is fast.... I know it doesn't get alot of props.... cuz its an old mill but man as I got to leaning it out 30 degrees per tank and man that thing started to sing. That JP1 really sounds good. I will keep at it.... no matter what anyone thinks!!! That bug is not only my pride and joy... but my sanity.....

 

[Plaidfish]

I run at a short track and mine just starts to wind out a little on the long straight.....I'm happy w/ that cause once it does wind out it is movin...just not too good to run em like that all the time.....so fo rme it's a great little engine....I tried running at a trak w/ long straights and it was lacking but then again w/ a low end mill you can always overgear it and get more speed......i run a 13/46 w/ mine and I like it....

 

[Revo Rancher]

As the famous German Gen Bismarck once said, " Sometimes we do not start real negotiations until both of our armies are on the front of the lines facing each other."

Looks like you got the door opened on a real conversation about what you two WANT in the marraige that BOTH of you will be in.

 

[godale03]

As the famous German Gen Bismarck once said, " Sometimes we do not start real negotiations until both of our armies are on the front of the lines facing each other."

Looks like you got the door opened on a real conversation about what you two WANT in the marraige that BOTH of you will be in.

Well you know Revo... you are right about that. We had a good 2 hour conversation in which we got alot of things out in the open. She agreed she took things a little to the extream and that she wants to find a happy medium. I gave her the out... and she didn't take it, said she wanted to work through it. I think we still have a bit to go but at least we have made a start. I think it all went really well.

Tom

 

[beason]

good job tom.. i knew you could work it out.. glad to see your still in the hobbie.. if you ever in the houston texas area hit me up.. we bash about every sunday or so.. i wanna see that beetle..

 

[godale03]

good job tom.. i knew you could work it out.. glad to see your still in the hobbie.. if you ever in the houston texas area hit me up.. we bash about every sunday or so.. i wanna see that beetle..

Thanks dude.... It all came to a head on Friday and I told her that I can't give up the things I love just to end up resenting you in the future, and that she needs to understand that this is what I enjoy and if she can't deal then she will end up resenting me just the same. Although my hobbies were not more important than she was I could not spend my life miserable.... we talked for a good long while.... I spent a few hours on Yesterday tearing up.... the RC's that is.... You guys were right.... there was no way I could ever give up everything I love.