Here is a decent one.....

[Çh®i§tiªñ]

Actual Newspaper Headlines
We're big fans of humor drawn from real life. We've culled through newspapers to find real headlines sure to help us forget that we're unlikely to ever get this black ink off of our fingers.

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming

Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During Murder Trial

Reason for More Bear Sightings: More Bears

Actor Sent to Jail for Not Finishing Sentence

Tiger Woods Play With Own Balls, Nike Says

Fireproof Clothing Factory Burns to Ground

Astronomers See Colorful Gas Clouds Bubble Out of Uranus

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Sex Offender Says Registering Will Hurt His Reputation

Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Jane Fonda to Teens: Use Head to Avoid Pregnancy

Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be "Extremely Painful"

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden

Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-Free

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Man Tries Armed Robbery with Knife in Gun Store

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25

Air Board to Study Fast Food Emissions

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

State Prisons to Replace Easy Open Locks

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

British Study Finds Less Traffic When Roads Close

Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide

Gators to Face Seminoles with Peters Out

Young Marines Make Tasty Christmas Treats

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Hirohito's Body Moved

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Stud Tires Out

Air Head Fired

Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives

 

[Nitroaddict]

I work in the newspaper industry - so I can relate. We often see things like that after we goto press. For example - instead of making the comment "Ms America is only as pretty as the average woman" the comment was printed as "Ms America is as ugly as the average woman". That got us some calls, lemmi tell ya. Funny headlines though man.

 

[AoD]

LMFAO I did like that Chris. Pretty dang good articles. They had those on Jay Leno on monday nights I believe. They were always funny. One of our local headlines was hilarious. I'm not lying in anyway, this was just before they changed thier named to Jefferson County Water

...

"Screwed Water sued for chemicals in water supply"

LMFAO I'm not lying to you. If I can find it, I'll explain what the "Screwed" standed for, it was an acronym for something...

 

[FlyinRazorback]

Good ones Çh®i§tiªñ

:spit:

 

[TINY_MAXX]

:spit: LMAO.Those rule.