FastEddy
The Slowest Guy In Town
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RCTalk Vendor
Bipartisanship - When conservatives give in to everything liberals want. Also known as "Buy My Partisanship."
Campaign Finance Reform - What needs to happen when Republicans find legitimate ways to raise more money than Democrats.
Civil Rights - What everyone has except conservatives.
Code Words - Hidden messages in speeches by conservative politicians indicating when the legions of right-wing extremists should pull out their knives, guns and clubs and run around beating up on Politically Correct people.
Compromise - When conservatives do everything liberals want.
Conservative - Someone who wants to starve children and old people, destroy the environment, shoot everyone with their assault gun, run over others with their SUV, dump toxic waste in everyone else's swimming pool, and become one of The Richest 1% of Taxpayers.
The Constitution - A document written by a bunch of Dead White Males that needs to become a "living document" every time liberals don't get their way, and followed to the letter when they do.
Corporate Greed - When any business dares to make money selling goods and services. Also called Profit.
Disenfranchisement - What happens when the liberal candidate loses the election.
Free Speech - The liberal excuse for any sort of behavior, no matter how offensive, except when such behavior comes from a conservative religious person sharing their faith or engaging in political discourse, in which case the issue immediately switches to Separation of Church and State.
Hate Speech - 1. Anything spoken by a conservative that even remotely implies Politically Correct People deserve anything less than sainthood. 2. Anytime a conservative says something that disagrees with a liberal.
Independent - A liberal trying to hide their liberalism. See Moderate.
Insider Trading - Whenever someone made money in the Stock Market and didn't cut a liberal in on the deal.
The Law - Whatever the people who wrote a law meant at the time a liberal judge interprets it, even if he is interpreting it years or decades later.
Mainstream - Whatever liberals believe.
McCarthyism - When average Americans exercise their right to boycott celebrities who make anti-American statements.
Mean-spirited - Sarcasm by a conservative. Sometimes called Hate Speech.
Media Bias - The right-wing slant of The Washington Times, National Review, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News Channel.
Minimum Wage Increase - 1. A method of transforming The Poor into The Working Poor so donations to the DNC will increase. 2. A way to decrease corporate profits so liberals may then accuse them of greed and price gouging when they raise prices to cover the extra wages and taxes.
Moderate - A liberal who is trying to hide their liberalism. See Independent.
Negative Campaigning - Telling the truth about a liberal candidate.
Oil - What it's really about whenever a conservative deploys American troops.
Politically Correct Person/Group - Any group of people liberals can dupe into voting for them by blaming conservatives for everything bad in their lives. Otherwise known as Minorities.
Politically Incorrect People - Anyone who is not liberal.
The Poor - Anyone who will vote for liberals but can't make a donation to the DNC.
Price gouging - Any time a company dares to charge more for its products than it did yesterday.
Racism/Discrimination - What Politically Incorrect People do to Politically Correct People. Politically Correct People are incapable of either.
Recession - Any time a conservative is President.
The Richest 1% of Taxpayers (a. k. a. "The Rich") - Everyone who makes more money than a liberal, except in cases where the person with the money is a liberal.
Right-wing Extremist - 1. Any Appellate or Supreme Court nomination by a conservative President. 2. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal.
Separation of Church and State - Used to prevent religious individuals from practicing their First Amendment rights or engaging in political discourse, unless such religious person is a liberal, an artist or a member of a Politically Correct Group, in which case it immediately becomes an issue of Freedom of Speech.
Special Interests - Any group of people who say things liberals don't like.
Spending cut - Any time a Federal Program doesn't get as much money as liberals want.
SUVs - Any vehicle that has at least two of the following: 1)four-wheel drive, 2)comfortable seating for more than two people, 3)more crash protection than a Yugo, 4) enough room for a family of six to go to the movies in one vehicle, or 5)a better view of the road.
Tax cut - Whenever The Rich don't have their tax burden at least doubled.
Tax Hike - Whenever The Poor don't get their refund on taxes they never payed.
Unfair - Whenever liberals don't get their way.
Unilateral - Any time one nation in the world objects to military action taken by the U.S., even if every other country in the world supports us.
Welfare Reform - Anything that will create more Poor or Working Poor.
The Working Poor - Anyone who will vote for a liberal and can make a donation to the DNC.
Campaign Finance Reform - What needs to happen when Republicans find legitimate ways to raise more money than Democrats.
Civil Rights - What everyone has except conservatives.
Code Words - Hidden messages in speeches by conservative politicians indicating when the legions of right-wing extremists should pull out their knives, guns and clubs and run around beating up on Politically Correct people.
Compromise - When conservatives do everything liberals want.
Conservative - Someone who wants to starve children and old people, destroy the environment, shoot everyone with their assault gun, run over others with their SUV, dump toxic waste in everyone else's swimming pool, and become one of The Richest 1% of Taxpayers.
The Constitution - A document written by a bunch of Dead White Males that needs to become a "living document" every time liberals don't get their way, and followed to the letter when they do.
Corporate Greed - When any business dares to make money selling goods and services. Also called Profit.
Disenfranchisement - What happens when the liberal candidate loses the election.
Free Speech - The liberal excuse for any sort of behavior, no matter how offensive, except when such behavior comes from a conservative religious person sharing their faith or engaging in political discourse, in which case the issue immediately switches to Separation of Church and State.
Hate Speech - 1. Anything spoken by a conservative that even remotely implies Politically Correct People deserve anything less than sainthood. 2. Anytime a conservative says something that disagrees with a liberal.
Independent - A liberal trying to hide their liberalism. See Moderate.
Insider Trading - Whenever someone made money in the Stock Market and didn't cut a liberal in on the deal.
The Law - Whatever the people who wrote a law meant at the time a liberal judge interprets it, even if he is interpreting it years or decades later.
Mainstream - Whatever liberals believe.
McCarthyism - When average Americans exercise their right to boycott celebrities who make anti-American statements.
Mean-spirited - Sarcasm by a conservative. Sometimes called Hate Speech.
Media Bias - The right-wing slant of The Washington Times, National Review, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News Channel.
Minimum Wage Increase - 1. A method of transforming The Poor into The Working Poor so donations to the DNC will increase. 2. A way to decrease corporate profits so liberals may then accuse them of greed and price gouging when they raise prices to cover the extra wages and taxes.
Moderate - A liberal who is trying to hide their liberalism. See Independent.
Negative Campaigning - Telling the truth about a liberal candidate.
Oil - What it's really about whenever a conservative deploys American troops.
Politically Correct Person/Group - Any group of people liberals can dupe into voting for them by blaming conservatives for everything bad in their lives. Otherwise known as Minorities.
Politically Incorrect People - Anyone who is not liberal.
The Poor - Anyone who will vote for liberals but can't make a donation to the DNC.
Price gouging - Any time a company dares to charge more for its products than it did yesterday.
Racism/Discrimination - What Politically Incorrect People do to Politically Correct People. Politically Correct People are incapable of either.
Recession - Any time a conservative is President.
The Richest 1% of Taxpayers (a. k. a. "The Rich") - Everyone who makes more money than a liberal, except in cases where the person with the money is a liberal.
Right-wing Extremist - 1. Any Appellate or Supreme Court nomination by a conservative President. 2. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal.
Separation of Church and State - Used to prevent religious individuals from practicing their First Amendment rights or engaging in political discourse, unless such religious person is a liberal, an artist or a member of a Politically Correct Group, in which case it immediately becomes an issue of Freedom of Speech.
Special Interests - Any group of people who say things liberals don't like.
Spending cut - Any time a Federal Program doesn't get as much money as liberals want.
SUVs - Any vehicle that has at least two of the following: 1)four-wheel drive, 2)comfortable seating for more than two people, 3)more crash protection than a Yugo, 4) enough room for a family of six to go to the movies in one vehicle, or 5)a better view of the road.
Tax cut - Whenever The Rich don't have their tax burden at least doubled.
Tax Hike - Whenever The Poor don't get their refund on taxes they never payed.
Unfair - Whenever liberals don't get their way.
Unilateral - Any time one nation in the world objects to military action taken by the U.S., even if every other country in the world supports us.
Welfare Reform - Anything that will create more Poor or Working Poor.
The Working Poor - Anyone who will vote for a liberal and can make a donation to the DNC.
