- Messages
- 35,104
- Reaction score
- 1,854
- Points
- 2,198
- Location
- In my recliner
- RC Driving Style
- Bashing
- Flying
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a
small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can
you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so
much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the
three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down
the stairs. She was
young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously
attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him
during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her
and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no
longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was
careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and,
near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese
Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought.
"If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to
worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window
and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on
it that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close
to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted
downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient
Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can
you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so
much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the
three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down
the stairs. She was
young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously
attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him
during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her
and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no
longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was
careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and,
near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese
Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought.
"If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to
worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window
and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on
it that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close
to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration,
he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted
downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
