Joke of the day!

[nitromaniac]

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, " Why in the world do you need cyanide?
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy,
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law!
They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license.
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and handed it to the pharmacist.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well, now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

[El Pirata]

I like that one.

 

[pissant]

thats a good one

 

[Skyline Racer]

that gave me a laugh, good one :bandit:

 

[olds97_lss]

That's like the cop one...

A guy is driving his sports car on a curvy mountain road. He never breaks the speed limit, but today he has an itch to see what the car can really do. So, he punches the gas and lets it rip. As he's driving along exceeding the limit, a cop pulls up behind him with lights flashing and the siren blaring. All the guy can think to do is to see how fast that cop can really go... after about 10 minutes of being an idiot, he finally pulls over. The cop comes up to his door, gun drawn, and asks what the hell he thinks he's doing.

"Well", the guy says, "My wife just left for another guy! And I'm feeling rather pissed off about it and decided to take it out on my car!" The cop says so what, wives leave husbands all the time, that doesn't give you the right to be an idiot. The guy continues, My wife left me for a cop... I thought it was you and you were trying to bring her back!

To that the cop says, "Have a nice day and please try to adhere to the speed limit."

On second thought, it's not really like the cop one and I'm not very good at jokes.:LoL:

 

[SilentHunterKellen]

heres a real gut buster:

A hippie walks on to a bus and is checking out this nun, she is very hot. The hippie asks the nun out, and she denies him in a pleasant way, so the hippie isnt angry, but confused.

The hippie goes up to the bus driver and asks him, "How can i get with that nun?" so the bus driver says, "Dress up in a face mask that glows in the dark and go to the cemetary at 12:00o'clock on thursday evening and she will be there, I always see her there praying."

So that thursday midnight, the hippie goes to the cemetary and dresses up and jumps out of the bushes and yells,"IT IS ME, ALMIGHTY GOD! I ORDER YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!" and the nun calmly replies,"shouldnt I remain a virgin according to you?" The hippie, having second doubts, says,"Anal sex will keep you a virgin, and you can obey me, or go to hell!" so the nun goes with him, and they get it on. Right after the hippies had his way, he pulls of his mask and says,"HAHAHA! I am the hippie from the bus!" and the nun pulls off her dress and says,"Haha, I'm the bus driver."

(Made me cry.)

 

[Vincemaxx119]

Awwww dude. That's wrong.

 

[jon2]

That last one was funny but it was just wrong. :\

 

[KoRnKiD]

That one gets me all the time silent.