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Funny Jokes

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rchpi92

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> > >A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
> >
> > >said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
> >
> > >because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
> >
> > >small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> >
> > >Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
> >
> > >human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
> >
> > >to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to
> >
> > >hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".





> > A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
> >
> > >they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
> >
> > >child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working
> >
> > >diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm
> >
> > >drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God
> >
> > >looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
> >
> > >the girl replied, "They will in a minute."








> > >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> >
> > >five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
> >
> > >thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
> >
> > >teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a
> >
> > >beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not
> >
> > >kill."








> > >One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
> >
> > >dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has
> >
> > >several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette
> >
> > >head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some
> >
> > >of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that
> >
> > >you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
> >
> > >turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
> >
> > >while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
> >
> > >white?"








> > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> >
> > >persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
> >
> > >nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
> >
> > >'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
> >
> > >doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
> >
> > >the teacher, She's dead."








> > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> >
> > >to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
> >
> > >head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
> >
> > >in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
> >
> > >standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
> >
> > >my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."







> > >The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary>
> >
> > >school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
> >
> > >The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God
> >
> > >is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of
> >
> > >the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
> >
> > >written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
:jester:
 
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?
Nobody. The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.


[move]THAT WAS MEAN[/move]

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.
The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore.
So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore."
So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve."
So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too."
So she swam out 19 miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said,"I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back
[MOVE]I JUST LOVE THESE JOKES[/MOVE]

A gorgeous young blonde woman gets sick and tired of men trying to pick her up in bars because she's beautiful, blonde, and so men thought she was easy.
One day, she decides to show everyone. She goes home and decides to smarten herself up. She decides to learn the capitals of all the fifty states. Week after week she practices until she knows them all. Finally, she is once again ready to go back to the bar. She sits down and after a few seconds and guy comes up to her and starts hitting on her. It is soon evident that he just wants to take her home and have sex with her. The lovely blonde says emphatically, "But I'm not just beautiful! I'm smart too!!" "Yeah, yeah. I believe you," says the young stud. "Now let's go."
Again she protests. "No, really I am smart. I know the capitals of all the
states." The guy starts walking away, getting sick of her.
She follows him. "Really, go ahead ask me a state. I'll give you its capital
and show you how smart I am."


Just to get rid of her, the guy says, "Fine. What's the capital of New
Mexico? The breathtaking blonde looks at him proudly and says. "New Mexico has two capitals: 'N' and 'M'."
[MOVE]OHHHHHH THAT'S GOTTA HURT[/MOVE]
 
Heres one:
A blonde and a brunett jumped of a building. Which one hit the ground first?
The brunett because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.


A blonde and a brunett were walkin down a street.The brunett said look a dead bird. the blonde looked up in the air and said where?
 
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