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another redneck joke

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digger

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Redneck Wedding Night

This redneck couple get married. They go back to the motel after the ceremony, and she changes into a sexy nightgown, lies on the bed, and says,

"Be gentle with me; I'm a virgin."

At this her new husband bursts into tears, pulls on his clothes, jumps into his pickup truck, and drives home. He tells his father what happened.

"Son, you done right," says his pop. "If she weren't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
 
LOL..
You know how a redneck father circumcises his son?




He kicks is daughter in the jaw! :)
 
LOL . . . OMG . . here's some oldies . . . . .


A liitle petite woman marries this big ol' redneck. On their wedding night, He takes his pants off, throws them on the bed, and says "here, put 'dese on."

She tries and they're bunched up around the ankles, the waist is too big to go around her twice. She says "I can't wear these pants."

"Dass right," he says, "an' as long as you remember 'dat, things will be just fine aroun' heah."

With a sexy grin on her face, she crawls under the sheets, pulls off her panties and tosses them to him. "Here, put these on."

He plays along, gives it a go, can't even get them up past his knees, and falls over on his ass. "I can't get into these panties!"

"That's right," she said, "and that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."


===============================


A woman's examining herself in the mirror while her husband is reading Field and Stream in bed. "Honey, she says, "I think I need a boob job."

"You don't need a boob job babe, just rub a piece of toilet paper between your boobs every night for a couple years."

Puzzled, she goes to the bathroom, gets a few squares, and returns to the mirror. As she stands there stroking the space between her boobs with the toilet paper, she asks, "How's this supposed to make my boobs bigger?"

"Well, it worked on your ass didn't it?"
 
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