lykan
Hardcore RCTalk User
- Messages
- 1,302
- Reaction score
- 1
- RC Driving Style
Day one
You awaken to your kids talking about riding their Christmas gift, a 50cc motorcycle. You take a drink of water and pop out of bed, First thing first. Head to the bathroom. as you stand in the mirror you admire yourself, not bad for a 33 yr old man, thin, trim, muscular, clear blue eyes and a smile on your face. Today is going to be a good day.
You play with your mini-electric as you wait for the kids to get dressed warm. After they are ready you toss the suplies and the motorcycle in the back of the rodeo like it's a gallon of milk. Nice and easy. A short drive to the mountains and you spend the day in front of a fire watching the kids blast through the knee deep snow constantly laying over the bike and wiping the snow from their faces. Once in a while you get the urge to hop on and show them how a real man rides the bike..they watch and admire knowing they will learn and hoping to grow up something like their old man one day.
After a short drive home you open the door to a nice warm house, the smell of fresh bread and dinner cooking, your wife with a beautifull smile on her face happy you are home safe. You sit down with the family to a good meal, and spend the rest of the evening on RCNT and watching the tube. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Day Two
You slowly awaken to an empty bed and an empty house noticing the clock at 1:15. Looking around to get your bearings wondering where the family has gone. You reach to the right and grab the glass of water from the night before it slips through your fingers as if your hands were part ghost. You didn't have a chance for a save, because you couldn't feel the glass slipping through your numb fingers.
Well, first things first. You sit upright, and immediately feel a rush of heat and a blinding sharp pain as your legs straighten. Your knees are literaly the size of a small honeydew. Grrph. You take your right arm, and grab your sweat pants at the cuff keeping your leg straight, you use your arm to swing your leg over the side of the bed. Your left leg comes easily as most of your weight is already off the bed. You straighten your legs and lock them in anticipatioin of the pain, you use your arms to lift your upper body, never using your knees or legs for support. As the weight bares on your knees they start to buckle, but like most days you bare down and start to walk as if your legs were stilts or steel rods with no knees.
You walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror your sunken in eyes reveal the lack of sleep from the night before. You can't stand without support so you lean forward both arms straight against the wall to hold yourself up. After you've finished you go to the cabinet for your medications.. you wonder how can the human body survive so many medications without your blood becoming toxic. You laugh at the thought of a mosquito biting your arm and dropping to it's death from all the medications. One more glance in the mirror before the return voyage, you aren't happy with what you see, a milk white shell of a man, sunken in eyes, and muscle that looks more atrophied than chiseled. Disgusted with yourself you turn and walk away.
As you reach the computer desk you pause hrmm bed, or computer? a serious decision that will decide your fate for the day...it's too much at the moment so you surrender to the drowsieness of the medication. You head to bed. As you drift off to sleep you hope when you awake the medication will help ease the stiffness perhaps you will be able to sit at the computer when you wake up.
Tired, but pain settled down to a dull throb, and feeling a little less stiff you repeat the process from the morning. Straighten your legs, grab your cuffs, and swing your legs off the bed. You make it to the computer chair and set yourself down. On the way down you notice that your arms are so strong you can hold your legs horizontal off the ground and lift yourself up and down with your hands on the arms of your chair, not bad for an old man you think. You do however wish you could feel the tips of your fingers hitting the keys. The feeling of touch is something you have lost long ago. As hard as you try you cannot remember the feeling of your hands running down the side of your own face.
The kids arrive home form school, and stand in line for hug, knowing you can't get up to greet them they are happy to come to you. They know the routine, one grabs a soda, another goes to the fridge for a sandwich, and your oldest goes to get your medicne bag. Even though they know you can't go sled or start the bike for them they ask anyways sure of the answer by the look in my eyes.
Your hands are beginning hurt again, you can't feel your finger tips, and start dropping things first apencil, then the phone, the last straw, you drop your soda making a huge mess. It's time for bed at 3:30.
Watching TV you dream of being able to do the things you are watching unfold on the screen. You drift off dreaming of the summer, and snorkeling swimming for you is like being a soul with no body attached, absolute freedom from gravity, and pain.
Your wife brings you dinner in bed,a highlight of the day having three kids she's been tending to them while your alone in the room. Enough you get up walk to the restroom, check on the kids you have to do something you sit on the couch and enjoy some sitcoms befoere heading to bed.
As you reach the door you look in with disgust you realize your bedroom is your prison, and life is the sentence. You despise your bed any the many days and weeks your trapped without chains.You drift off to sleep.
Day three
You awake with a start, the kids are about ready to leave for school, the wife all bundled up ready to drive them, coffee in hand. A feeling of urgency overwhelms you, you yell for your wife "can you please get my meds for me, and help me out of bed." If she leaves before getting your meds, you will be trapped for another hour or so. Even though your wife is happy to help, you feel as if you have just asked her to do your taxes the guilt is overwhelming.
Having your meds will determine whether roll in bed all day, or maybe make it to the computer for some intellectual stimulation. Without the computer you are sure you mind would rot and you would go crazy in weeks.
Day four
This day unfolds just as the past two. You start to notice your wife not smiling as much she's avoiding the bedroom as much as you wish you could. the kids now are not hoping you will go out with them today, they are instead dreading the monotonous grind of go fetch and fetch again.
You start to day dream of times past working hard in the open air bringing home a check and feeling completely satisfied. Wishing you had enough grip to drink grab a drink of your soda. Praying you will wake up to find it was all a dream.
You're a shell your wife is tired, your kids are beginning to dislike you not for who you are, but for the lack of being able to father them. Desperate, your children start to misbehave hoping you will have the mobility to punish them no matter how severe as long as you are able to interact with them physically.
Day Five
You awake to a start, grab a drink and put on your glasses. You slip off the bed like an athlete. You run to the door as quickly as possible hoping to catch your wife not for your meds, but this time for a kiss goodbye.
As your wife pulls out of the driveway you begin to start breakfast, it would be nice for her to have a break. Your medication, pain and agony all gone as if it never happened. As quickly as it came it has gone lying dormant like a snake. It will awaken it will return, but for now you're free.
Welcome to Rheumatoid Arthritis
Welcome to my life.
*****
I am not a sad man, nor did I write this for pity. I am a happy confident man today thankful that I have a good wife and family to support me. I enjoy my life, and never wish to be someone I am not. If could do this all over again I would do it in a heartbeat.
When you see a healthy young man park in front of the door don't immediately assume he's lazy. When you se a young lady that's short in a hurry and has a scowl on her face don't automatically assume she's a winch perhaps she's sick. Perhaps she's caring for someone who is.
Be thankful for what you have, and cherish those in your life who support you.The man in the Lexus next to you, with the beautiful blonde just might not be as lucky as you think.
Life is life, and everyone has their problems. Whether your life is pathetic depressed and unhappy, or it's perfect is up to you. It's you who you decide. It's you that makes your life pleasant or painful not your circumstance.
For those of you who suffer from a debilitating disease that affects your ability to function as a human, you are not alone.
--Mason
You awaken to your kids talking about riding their Christmas gift, a 50cc motorcycle. You take a drink of water and pop out of bed, First thing first. Head to the bathroom. as you stand in the mirror you admire yourself, not bad for a 33 yr old man, thin, trim, muscular, clear blue eyes and a smile on your face. Today is going to be a good day.
You play with your mini-electric as you wait for the kids to get dressed warm. After they are ready you toss the suplies and the motorcycle in the back of the rodeo like it's a gallon of milk. Nice and easy. A short drive to the mountains and you spend the day in front of a fire watching the kids blast through the knee deep snow constantly laying over the bike and wiping the snow from their faces. Once in a while you get the urge to hop on and show them how a real man rides the bike..they watch and admire knowing they will learn and hoping to grow up something like their old man one day.
After a short drive home you open the door to a nice warm house, the smell of fresh bread and dinner cooking, your wife with a beautifull smile on her face happy you are home safe. You sit down with the family to a good meal, and spend the rest of the evening on RCNT and watching the tube. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Day Two
You slowly awaken to an empty bed and an empty house noticing the clock at 1:15. Looking around to get your bearings wondering where the family has gone. You reach to the right and grab the glass of water from the night before it slips through your fingers as if your hands were part ghost. You didn't have a chance for a save, because you couldn't feel the glass slipping through your numb fingers.
Well, first things first. You sit upright, and immediately feel a rush of heat and a blinding sharp pain as your legs straighten. Your knees are literaly the size of a small honeydew. Grrph. You take your right arm, and grab your sweat pants at the cuff keeping your leg straight, you use your arm to swing your leg over the side of the bed. Your left leg comes easily as most of your weight is already off the bed. You straighten your legs and lock them in anticipatioin of the pain, you use your arms to lift your upper body, never using your knees or legs for support. As the weight bares on your knees they start to buckle, but like most days you bare down and start to walk as if your legs were stilts or steel rods with no knees.
You walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror your sunken in eyes reveal the lack of sleep from the night before. You can't stand without support so you lean forward both arms straight against the wall to hold yourself up. After you've finished you go to the cabinet for your medications.. you wonder how can the human body survive so many medications without your blood becoming toxic. You laugh at the thought of a mosquito biting your arm and dropping to it's death from all the medications. One more glance in the mirror before the return voyage, you aren't happy with what you see, a milk white shell of a man, sunken in eyes, and muscle that looks more atrophied than chiseled. Disgusted with yourself you turn and walk away.
As you reach the computer desk you pause hrmm bed, or computer? a serious decision that will decide your fate for the day...it's too much at the moment so you surrender to the drowsieness of the medication. You head to bed. As you drift off to sleep you hope when you awake the medication will help ease the stiffness perhaps you will be able to sit at the computer when you wake up.
Tired, but pain settled down to a dull throb, and feeling a little less stiff you repeat the process from the morning. Straighten your legs, grab your cuffs, and swing your legs off the bed. You make it to the computer chair and set yourself down. On the way down you notice that your arms are so strong you can hold your legs horizontal off the ground and lift yourself up and down with your hands on the arms of your chair, not bad for an old man you think. You do however wish you could feel the tips of your fingers hitting the keys. The feeling of touch is something you have lost long ago. As hard as you try you cannot remember the feeling of your hands running down the side of your own face.
The kids arrive home form school, and stand in line for hug, knowing you can't get up to greet them they are happy to come to you. They know the routine, one grabs a soda, another goes to the fridge for a sandwich, and your oldest goes to get your medicne bag. Even though they know you can't go sled or start the bike for them they ask anyways sure of the answer by the look in my eyes.
Your hands are beginning hurt again, you can't feel your finger tips, and start dropping things first apencil, then the phone, the last straw, you drop your soda making a huge mess. It's time for bed at 3:30.
Watching TV you dream of being able to do the things you are watching unfold on the screen. You drift off dreaming of the summer, and snorkeling swimming for you is like being a soul with no body attached, absolute freedom from gravity, and pain.
Your wife brings you dinner in bed,a highlight of the day having three kids she's been tending to them while your alone in the room. Enough you get up walk to the restroom, check on the kids you have to do something you sit on the couch and enjoy some sitcoms befoere heading to bed.
As you reach the door you look in with disgust you realize your bedroom is your prison, and life is the sentence. You despise your bed any the many days and weeks your trapped without chains.You drift off to sleep.
Day three
You awake with a start, the kids are about ready to leave for school, the wife all bundled up ready to drive them, coffee in hand. A feeling of urgency overwhelms you, you yell for your wife "can you please get my meds for me, and help me out of bed." If she leaves before getting your meds, you will be trapped for another hour or so. Even though your wife is happy to help, you feel as if you have just asked her to do your taxes the guilt is overwhelming.
Having your meds will determine whether roll in bed all day, or maybe make it to the computer for some intellectual stimulation. Without the computer you are sure you mind would rot and you would go crazy in weeks.
Day four
This day unfolds just as the past two. You start to notice your wife not smiling as much she's avoiding the bedroom as much as you wish you could. the kids now are not hoping you will go out with them today, they are instead dreading the monotonous grind of go fetch and fetch again.
You start to day dream of times past working hard in the open air bringing home a check and feeling completely satisfied. Wishing you had enough grip to drink grab a drink of your soda. Praying you will wake up to find it was all a dream.
You're a shell your wife is tired, your kids are beginning to dislike you not for who you are, but for the lack of being able to father them. Desperate, your children start to misbehave hoping you will have the mobility to punish them no matter how severe as long as you are able to interact with them physically.
Day Five
You awake to a start, grab a drink and put on your glasses. You slip off the bed like an athlete. You run to the door as quickly as possible hoping to catch your wife not for your meds, but this time for a kiss goodbye.
As your wife pulls out of the driveway you begin to start breakfast, it would be nice for her to have a break. Your medication, pain and agony all gone as if it never happened. As quickly as it came it has gone lying dormant like a snake. It will awaken it will return, but for now you're free.
Welcome to Rheumatoid Arthritis
Welcome to my life.
*****
I am not a sad man, nor did I write this for pity. I am a happy confident man today thankful that I have a good wife and family to support me. I enjoy my life, and never wish to be someone I am not. If could do this all over again I would do it in a heartbeat.
When you see a healthy young man park in front of the door don't immediately assume he's lazy. When you se a young lady that's short in a hurry and has a scowl on her face don't automatically assume she's a winch perhaps she's sick. Perhaps she's caring for someone who is.
Be thankful for what you have, and cherish those in your life who support you.The man in the Lexus next to you, with the beautiful blonde just might not be as lucky as you think.
Life is life, and everyone has their problems. Whether your life is pathetic depressed and unhappy, or it's perfect is up to you. It's you who you decide. It's you that makes your life pleasant or painful not your circumstance.
For those of you who suffer from a debilitating disease that affects your ability to function as a human, you are not alone.
--Mason
Last edited:
