So is life...........

[FlyinRazorback]

Well, it has now been 2 weeks since my wife moved out. At first I thought that this may be a temporary thing but last night she came over with the divorce papers. We went over everything in the house and divided it equally.

She says that she feels that we are going in seperate directions with our lives. I asked her which direction she was going and she had no answer. Truth is, she doesn't know what she wants right now. Seems that the current moment she wants to go out and party......poop she should have done while we were in college.

Although things have been a little different lately, this one really blindsided me. We were just ticking along and wham! What a kick in the nuts.

Anyways, I guess there will be something to learn from this, as there always is with the ups and downs of life. I can sit here and beat myself up over it, and think of the should of's and could of's and what if I had........

Instead, I will try to take the positives from our relationship of 12 years and apply that to the days to come. The initial shock is now gone, and it's time to move on.

Just wanted to let you guys know 'cause I've been a little testy lately and if I have pissed anyone off with anything I have said then I'm sorry.

 

[KoRnKiD]

Use this time to learn, Every time I break up with someone or they break up with me I sit and try to figure out what went wrong to me it seem like it helps you might want to try it. O rjust move on put it behind you.

 

[nitromaniac]

Originally posted by FlyinRazorback

Instead, I will try to take the positives from our relationship of 12 years and apply that to the days to come. The initial shock is now gone, and it's time to move on.

FRB, This has been the best qoute I have ever seen! when you can sit down and type something like this, you really know the right direction to go! things may really suck right now, but someday your wife will really appreciate that you were able to write That! I have been there, and I know that if you keep that attitude, you will stay well!

 

[Candyman]

Welcome to the club! After a little while, things are better. My ex and I get along better now than when we were married. Our kids are smiling and we have a good bond with them. She lives only 10 miles up the road and I see my girls every day after work. They spend at least one night a week here. Sure it's quiet sometimes. And I certainly didn't totally expect my marriage to implode. But after time went on, I realized that my ex and I were 2 different people raising the same kids. That's not easy. But it does get better. Right now, you 2 probably need a little space. This is an emotional extreme. Time will temper that. For now, it's time to make lemonade from these lemons..

 

[RiceLaxer06]

i dont really have any experiences with the matter(girlfriends dont count), but u def have my support with what your going through. Just do what makes you happy and dont dwell too much on the faults that made past relationships fail. That will only depress you further.

 

[scottm]

Me too. Mine though I would grow out of dirt bikes and rc cars. Wrong-o biotch! Plus she hated that I was happy and fun to be around, so I had friends. Does that sound bitter?

On the bright side, we now get along fine, our daughter is happy, and I live on 2 acres in the desert with an rc track and a big cycle jump:

I'm normally against divorce unless its for a good cause, like enjoying live again....

 

[HumboldtBlazer]

Yeah your bro kinda told me what happened I just wasn't going to bring it up until you did. Seems like you and your brother kinda had the same thing happen. I think you deffinetley got the right attitude. I know you were together a long time (I have been with mine for 7) Sure I would be sad if she left but it's not the end of the world. You will find it happened for a reason a little later as life works like that. I still ove you FRB!:hi: :hump:

 

[FlyinRazorback]

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

HB,
Much love brutha. My brother's case is a little different than mine though. At least I don't have kids in the mix. Makes it difficult to say the least.

I didn't put this on here for a pity-party. Just thought I could get some of your thoughts on divorce. What really sucks is I keep getting these crossed signals from her. She calls me everyday, usually a couple of times a day, with nothing important to say. I feel like saying "Hey, you wanted this, now go out there and be single and leave me alone." And another part of me wants to sit on the phone and make small talk. Part of me wants to believe the marriage can be saved, while part of me wants to let her go.

 

[GilBeQuick]

Seperation is always a tough thing. When it comes down to it, what will happen will happen. I don't know if you're a believer in God or not, but if you are, put your faith in Him and you'll be just fine.

 

[FlyinRazorback]

Originally posted by GilBeQuick
Seperation is always a tough thing. When it comes down to it, what will happen will happen. I don't know if you're a believer in God or not, but if you are, put your faith in Him and you'll be just fine.

Amen to that.......

 

[Çh®i§tiªñ]

Woman are like Tuna. Once you get done eating one you can always go catch another!

Sometimes the Tuna steals your bait though!

I'm on my second one now and believe it or not, my wife and my ex get along like best friends. Its really weird at times.

In due time all things get better bro. Just hang in there and no matter what, keep a smile on your face when shes around. DO NOT let her see you down. Especially if its a done deal.

If you need anything at all just let me know. Ill be here.

 

[BigBadWolf]

FRB... I feel your pain dude... and more of it. I went through a NASTY divorce after being married for 13 years and having two kids. As has been mentioned, be glad you didn't have children yet. Makes things a lot messier. My daughters live 5 hours away from me so I hardly get to see them. Anyway, 5 years later I am remarried and my ex and I are just starting to put up with each other. She's a very angry woman though.

Anyway, you seem to be on the right track and using this experience for future reference will certainly help. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Of course there is also nothing wrong with bawling your eyes out like a little baby and crying out "why why why? NOOO!!! I have nothing to live for!" either. Hey, I was weak, get off my back about it alread... uhh, gosh, well er... ahhh.. just stay strong dude.

And Çh®i§tiªñ hit the nail right on the head. Do not let this woman see you down about it. That's like an adrenaline injection to them.

 

[nitromaniac]

Originally posted by Çh®i§tiªñ
Woman are like Tuna. Once you get done eating one you can always go catch another!

Sometimes the Tuna steals your bait though!

After a ten year realationship with my ex, this is why I have been a very happy member of the catch and release program!

No light on you FRB, you will heal!!!

 

[FastEddy]

FastEddys mirage is like waffle theory.

Have you ever made waffles for breakfast?
The first one never comes out right but is a necessary evil!

On a serious note.
If someone wants to leave there isn't anything you can say or do. I don't care what anyone says you can't change someone they will do what they want with or without your blessing. The best thing you can do is let her go. Weather you realize it or not you got off easy on this one. Just imagine what it would be like if she decided to live a new life and try to drag you along for the ride. Or worse yet, come home and find her in bead with someone else.

It sounds like your have your head in the proper place, this is important. I'm sure you know its for the better and are moving forward as best as you can. There will be some difficult times ahead but just keep the finnish line in sight and keep making laps until its over. Like they say, Sometimes its not important to come in first but just to finnish.

Affairs of the heart can't be fixed with a screw driver, however they can be fixed with a hammer but isn't recommended. Sooner than you know you will be on the hunt again enjoying life with your buddies not having to worry about checking in with the wife. You will be free to be the happy person you are.

Have you noticed how much more attractive the women are now than when you got married? Now instead of having to go to bed with the domestic female you can go and experience them in the wild. There is a difference! There is nothing wrong with going to the zoo to se the animals. Just think now you get to go on a safari and experience them in their natural wild habitat. They build them different then they used to 12 years ago.

Keep your chin up and stay at the zoo till its over. May hell have no furry like a women scorn.

Eds words of wisdom.
WTF Do I know?