RED NECK PICK-UP LINES... lol

[ImBroken]

RED NECK PICK-UP LINES

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer " bed-rock."

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,.......................every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Number 2...CLASSIC!

LMFAO!

 

[Bryson]

Those are all really great right there.

Bryson

 

[HeartBreak]

#7 - that's my motto! LOL - good post, ImBroken!!

 

[Revo]

Gotta luv #6 LOL

 

[Karl M]

Damn, I'm married now, where were those 13 yrs ago? lol I had a friend who actually used #7, still don't know why he got slapped. lol

 

[Revo]

Damn, I'm married now, where were those 13 yrs ago? lol I had a friend who actually used #7, still don't know why he got slapped. lol

Hi Karl I hear ya when I was in my teens and early 20's stupid lines worked. Now that I'm married those lines dont work anymore the wife just gives me that look like I'm a moron or something. I keep telling her I'm gonna trade her in for 2 20's her reply is that I'm to old and cudn't handle it. Hell give me a couple of those Hooter's girl's and I'll damn sure try, I might die trying but will do it with a smile on my face LOL

 

[Karl M]

You mean to tell me you had success with those lines, where were these women when I was dating? lol

 

[Rolex]

Some funny stuff there.
Many years ago, working with a construction crew, we all paused to watch some fine thing walk past. The boss made some comment to us as to what he would like to do, and one of the guys said, "Don't even think about it. You'd never be able to satisfy her."
His comment was, "I don't care, 'cause I could damn sure satisfy myself."

 

[neobart]

I might consider using #8 myself.

Good post.

 

[hb1111]

i like rolexs i can live for that line

 

[Revo]

You mean to tell me you had success with those lines, where were these women when I was dating? lol

I dont knw of it was the lines or the beer and other substances we were indulging in LOL

 

[godale03]

Number, 6 and 8 made me spit may coffee all over yet another keyboard! Funny stuff!

Tom

 

[vbgagnon]

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."


Thats funny!!

 

[bentover]

#3 worked great on ma sister's best friend's cousin's momma's uncle's sister-in-law's sister.

 

[sweetdiesel]

Freaking hilarious! I had the wife rolling when I told these to her in my best "git r dun" voice.

 

[Rolex]

Every one of those lines is GUARANTEED to work in the trailer park of your choice.

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Every one of those lines is GUARANTEED to work in the trailer park of your choice.

Where's Mr. T-Maxx when you need him?

 

[nicholas655]

classic, i love them all , i can't wait to work those on a co worker , it will be hilarious.

 

[neobart]

Please please get it on tape.