The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus
of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any
two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points
would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would
like to be measured replied "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had
received.
But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
measurement was aken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and
instructed the Captain to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed
the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."
early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus
of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any
two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points
would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would
like to be measured replied "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had
received.
But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
measurement was aken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and
instructed the Captain to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed
the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."
