ImBroken
Still Lurking...
Supporter
An actual Craigslist ad...
RE: To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)
Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2009-01-14, 11:50PM PST
To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that
it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have
ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of
Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there
was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked
forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please
don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note
that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be
funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95%
of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why
they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your
pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a
heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be
more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high
in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.
RE: To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)
Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2009-01-14, 11:50PM PST
To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that
it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have
ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of
Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there
was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked
forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please
don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note
that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be
funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95%
of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why
they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your
pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a
heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be
more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high
in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.
:
I've got one better I will share when I'm home...
