Some nice one-liners:
http://www.joecasaletto.com/jokes/rodney.htm
---One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."
---I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
---My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
---Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
---I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
---My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
---Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
---My mother-in-law....For years I wouldn't kiss her face, I end up kissing her ass.
(Easy Money quote)