Bonehead of the Day

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El Pirata

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Bonehead award one goes to an American Airlines flight attendant who caused a plane to make an emergency return to Houston under escort of two F-16s when she reported a passenger holding a suspicious device.

The plane, on landing, was surrounded by police and emergency vehicles. All 50 passengers were, of course, tremendously inconvenienced. And two passengers were hauled off for questioning by authorities.

Good Heavens! What was that device that a passenger was holding that would cause such a panicked response?

According to American Airlines spokeswoman Andrea Rader, "the device in question was a comb. You know, one of those folding combs you comb your hair with."

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Bonehead award two goes to a now deceased British tourist, visiting the Alps who it appears, to save the time it would take to use the cable car to get to where he wanted to go, attached a mountaineering snap-link to the cable so he could just slide down the cable to more quickly get to the other side. He didn't consider the rock outcrops and metal pylons, apparently.

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Bonehead award three goes to a Romanian woman whose husband is filing for divorce because she has spent their life savings on sex toys.

"I hope she is satisfied with the toys because she won't get any more pleasure from me," says the man.

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Bonehead award four goes some Arapahoe County, Colorado deputies who mistakenly put a man into the same jail cell as the alleged killer he testified against. 10 minutes later he was beaten, bloodied and left with a broken nose. He was hit so hard that his assailant was left with a broken hand. The court had ordered that they be kept separated.

This is the same department that mistakenly placed a 16-year-old girl into a cell with a serial rapist (see Bonehead Of The Day Award for March 7, 2002 at http://www.escribe.com/humor/bonehead/m614.html )

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x_789

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Man that suck sI thought we were gonna nominate people then vote on it. Oh well if you change your mind I have my Person to nominate. X
 

El Pirata

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Don't forget to nominaste me while we are on the subject, I know Sky will second the motion. :D
 

SkyMaxx

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You might be in the running, but no where near the top of my list for the bonehead award...
 

SkyMaxx

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Be like the RC Motor Mouth...
 

Niffken

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smackcrackpot.jpg
 

SkyMaxx

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Now that is funny, in a deranged sort of way...I won't ever look at my rice crispies in the same way again...
 

El Pirata

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You! Out of the Gene Pool!

Bonehead award two goes to an Eastern Ukraine politician, out for a
walk with his dog, who got into an altercation with some people and so
hung back and tossed a grenade at them.

But dogs will be dogs and his dog was thinking "fetch" and so ran
over, grabbed the grenade, and happily returned it to our award
winner.

Unfortunately the dog died as well when the grenade went off.

Sounds like a familiar urban legend but the newspaper traces it back
to a local TV news report.

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Bonehead award three, a "too dumb to be a criminal" bonehead award
goes to two brothers, a girlfriend and their mother.

First the two brothers burgle a home, take photos of each other with a
stolen digital camera and then pawn the camera without removing the
photographs thereby allowing police to locate them.

Then one of their girlfriends tries cashing a stolen check but gets
spoofed and runs off, leaving her driver's license behind.

And then their mother cashes a stolen check but uses her real name as
identification so police know exactly who did it
 

El Pirata

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For those who thought television couldn't get any lower.

Bonehead award one goes to the producers of the "Trisha Exposes Britain's Biggest Love Rats" television show where they take DNA from a child and then expose, over the air, whether the parents are the true biological parents.

In one episode a woman had her son tested to find out if his biological father was her husband or a man she had sex with in the back seat of her car moments after meeting him. Turns out it wasn't either of them.

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Bonehead award two, a "stupidest lawsuit in the world" bonehead award, goes to a Pennsylvania woman who is suing a bunch of doctors at a VA hospital, the hospital itself, and even the United States government for not forcing her to lose weight and quit smoking before she had her heart attack. She says her weight and smoking problem is their entire fault, or maybe even your fault, but it's certainly isn't her fault and she wants a million dollars.

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Bonehead award three goes to some September 11th ceremony organizers in New Jersey who decided to release 80 white pigeons as part of the ceremony but who, instead of buying the kinds of birds you need for this, like birds that can fly, instead went down to a local poultry shop in Newark to buy the kind meant for eating.

When released, some birds got tangled into people's hair, some fell into the Hudson River and others crashed into office windows. There were a lot of dead birds around.

And what does the city's organizing 9/11 Memorial Committee have to say about what they did?

They said it was still the right decision because they saved hundreds of dollars buying the birds from the poultry market.

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Ring This One Up To Stupidity

Bonehead award four, a "too dumb to be a criminal" bonehead award, goes to a UK house burglar who answered a cell phone taken in an earlier heist, who immediately gave his full name to the caller when answering the phone. The caller happened to be the owner hoping to find out who took his stuff.

"It is one of the easiest crimes we've ever solved. I just wish all
villains were that daft," said a police officer.
 

El Pirata

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Bonehead award one, a "stupidest question in the world" bonehead award goes to those people who asked the Federal Tourism Organization of Ottawa, Canada the following questions:

· "Is there a place to stay overnight on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, NY??

· "We visited Calgary/Banff about six years ago and very much enjoyed it. This year, we went back. However, we were very much annoyed by the non-stop beepers from buses and other vehicles when they back up. Can you please consider banning these?"

· "We come up to Canada, fishing every year in June. Last year, they told us we could not bring leeches to Canada any more. Can we still bring night crawlers?"


From the Michael Kesterton column in the Globe and Mail (Toronto)

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Bonehead award two, a "stupidest excuse in the world" bonehead award goes to a Glenburn, Maine woman, who led police on a high speed chase, reaching speeds as high as 80-miles-per-hour in a 25-mile-per-hour zone, who when finally pulled over by State Police told them that she hadn't stopped because she thought the police were providing an escort for her since she was taking her niece to the hospital. She was charged with eluding a police officer.


WMTW TV (Maine) 10-Sep-02

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Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

Bonehead award three goes to an Elk Grove, California woman who called 911 in an absolute panic, creating a security alert, fearing that she was in the midst of a terrorist attack when she saw some baby spiders floating in the air around her house. She thought an airplane circling her home was dropping them.


Sacramento Bee 11-Sep-02

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Bonehead award four, a "too dumb to be a criminal" bonehead award goes to a South African criminal who said, at his bail hearing, when asked what he would do if released, "I will refrain from criminal activities and simply continue with my work. That is buying ecstasy for my friends daily and taking it to them."

And when asked if he was reliable, he replied, "Everyone in
Observatory knows that I am reliable, which is exactly why they send me. I just buy the 'E', I do not use it myself," he said.

Bail denied!

A thank you to reader Elri for this story.


The Independent (South Africa) 22-Aug-02
 
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