1.---The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more
teeth than your spouse.
2.---You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at
the dinner table in front of her kids.
3.---You're been married three times and still have
the same in-laws.
4.---You think a woman who is "out-of-your-league"
bowls on a different night.
5.---Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired
people."
6.---You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
7.---Anyone in your family ever died right after
saying: "Hey, watch this."
8.---You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9.---Your junior prom had a daycare.
10.---Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.
11.---You think the last words of the Star Spangled
Banner are: "Gentlemen, start your engines."
12.---You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
13.---The bluebook value of your truck goes up and
down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14.---You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.
15.---One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16.---You need one more hole punched in your cards to
get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17.---You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
18.---You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is
drunk.
19.---Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20.---Your front porch collapses and kills more than
five dogs.
teeth than your spouse.
2.---You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at
the dinner table in front of her kids.
3.---You're been married three times and still have
the same in-laws.
4.---You think a woman who is "out-of-your-league"
bowls on a different night.
5.---Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired
people."
6.---You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
7.---Anyone in your family ever died right after
saying: "Hey, watch this."
8.---You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9.---Your junior prom had a daycare.
10.---Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.
11.---You think the last words of the Star Spangled
Banner are: "Gentlemen, start your engines."
12.---You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
13.---The bluebook value of your truck goes up and
down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14.---You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.
15.---One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16.---You need one more hole punched in your cards to
get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17.---You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
18.---You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is
drunk.
19.---Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20.---Your front porch collapses and kills more than
five dogs.
