Outhouse

[digger]

Ma and Pa were two hillbillies. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.
So he went into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole.

Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate." So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."

The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole.."

Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.

He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.

All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!

Off goes the first stick of dynamite ... shooting the outhouse into the air.

BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite ... spreading poop all over the farm.

WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole..... Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!"

As she pulls up her pants she says ... "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen!"

 

[Karl M]

Question: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Answer: Marry her!

 

[digger]

I'm from W. Va., but I don't think we are the only ones to do this...


The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged . . .
. . . they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pick-up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were "OH GOD!"

Only the state of West Virginia was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS!"

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Good ones, both of them! Digger, isn't the actual name of the state West "By God" Virginia?

 

[StrechM]

2 new ones for the file!

 

[digger]

Digger, isn't the actual name of the state West "By God" Virginia?

You have met some of us, haven't ya?

Here is another...


Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon . . ,
. . .when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Yuh know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you said to go to Tahiti, and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me!"