* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* A day without sunshine is like, - - - well, night.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Those that live by the sword are shot by those who don't.
* Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
* The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
* It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
* If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
* The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
* Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
* The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
* A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
* When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* A day without sunshine is like, - - - well, night.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Those that live by the sword are shot by those who don't.
* Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
* The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
* It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
* If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
* The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
* Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
* The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
* A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
* When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
