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Joke

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SilentHunterKellen

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Heres a Joke.

The Viagra Solution... Dan goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in
hospital. "How are you Grandpa? he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?" wonders Dan. "Terrific, wonderful menus," smiles
Grandpa. "And the nurses?" asks Dan. "Just couldn't be better," nods
Grandpa. "Those Sisters of Mercy really know how to take care of you."
"What about sleeping?" questions Dan. "Are you still having trouble
sleeping?" "No problem at all," says Grandpa. "Nine hours solid, every
night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra
tablet... and that's it. I go out like a light." The grandson, puzzled and
quite alarmed by this, rushes off to question the Sister in charge. "What
are you people doing," Dan demands. "My 85-year-old grandfather says that
you're giving him Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true!?"
"Oh, yes," admits the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup
of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate
makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him rolling out of bed."
[move]-Kellen[/move]
 
Please dont try this at home! Damn...that image is stuck in my head...:angry:
[move]-Kellen[/move]
 
OHHHHHHHH thats ohhhhhh man thats permently engraved in my mind:(
 
Good god that is wrong!! That is sick!! That threw a pic of my grand pa with a hard on. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
Great now I have a head ache.



Lets have some more jokes.!!
 
More jokes eh? YOU ASKED FOR IT! lol...i particularly like this one!

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it
was occupied. A female flight attendant, aware of the traveler's predicament, suggested he use
the attendants' ladies' room but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.


When he arrived in the attendants' ladies' room, he noticed that next to the toilet paper rolls,
there were four buttons marked: WW, WA, PP, and ATR. His curiosity got the best of him and he
disregarded what she said. He carefully pressed the WW button, and immediately a gentle flush of
Warm Water sprayed onto his bare bottom.


He thought, "Wow, these gals really have it nice!" So a little more boldly, he pressed the WA
button, and body temperature warm air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.


"Ahh," he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of
services!" So he pushed the next button, PP, with anticipation. A soft, disposable powder puff
swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.


"Man, this is great!" he thought as he reached out for the ATR button.


When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off. Confused, he buzzed the nurse
to find out what had happened. He explained that the last thing he remembered was intense pain in
the ladies' room of the plane.


The nurse explained, "Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the 'Automatic
Tampon Removal' button."
HAHA! Your welcome...more?more? more?
[move]-Kellen[/move]
 
you asked for it:

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no
corpse. In the defense's closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be
convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you
all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in
this case will walk into this courtroom."


He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A
minute passed. Nothing happened.


Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with
anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether
anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."


The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and
pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt, I
saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but your client
didn't."

This one you gotta think about....
[move]-Kellen[/move]

And heres another one:

Men are like.....
>
>Men are like ........ Laxatives ...... They irritate the
>poop out of you.
>
>Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the
>less firm they are.
>
>Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be
>long enough.
>
>Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to
>change them.
>
>Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but
>you're not quite sure why.
>
>Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, &
>they usually head right for your hips.
>
>Men are like ........ Coffee ...... The best ones are rich,
>warm, & can keep you up all night long.
>
>Men are like ........ Commercials ...... You can't believe a
>word they say.
>
>Men are like ........ Department Stores ...... Their clothes
>are always 1/2 off.
>
>Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take
>soooooooo long to mature.
>
>Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the
>first sign of emotion.
>
>Men are like ........ Popcorn ...... They satisfy you, but
>only for a little > >while.
>
>Men are like ........ Snowstorms ...... You never know when
>they're coming, or how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
>
>Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but
>not very bright.
>
> Men are like ........ Parking Spots ...... All the good ones
>are taken, the rest are handicapped.

My Cousin sent it to me. Got a little mad at first but...its pretty funny the second time you read it. Sorry bout this one...:naughty: :doc: :naughty:
[move]-Kellen[/move]
 
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