Joke: Quotes & Name Change

[mr_bob]

I'm sorry i know these are someone elses job but i just felt that i should post these they are funny to me


Genre: Quotes Jokes

- From the interviewee: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)

- "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)

- "Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." (Murray Walker)

- "A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin." (Jo Sheldon)

- "That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe)

- "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." (Marlon Starling)

- "I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between only Oxford and Cambridge)

- "The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." (Tony Crozier)


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Genre: Osama Bin Laden

At a 2004 press conference to update the situation in Afghanistan, military officials made it public that Osama Bin Laden, had indeed changed his name to Osama Bin Runninlikeasissy.

 

[Rolex]

I'm sorry i know these are someone elses job but i just felt that i should post these they are funny to me

Someone else's JOB?

Would that be me? Please pitch in whatever you have. Contrary to popular belief, I am not in possesion of every joke ever written.
Keep them coming. At the rate I'm going, my vault will be empty in 3 more years.
I need back up stock.

 

[mr_bob]

i just didnt want to step on anyones toes and i didnt mean it as a job i just ment it as something someone does


so thats why i posted these

 

[Rolex]

Everybody needs a few good laughs a day, and that includes me. Posting jokes is not my job, or my appointed position, so make me laugh with a new one. I always look forward to seeing jokes here that I haven't gotten yet.

 

[wdavidhicks]

I heard a good one the other day...

Somebody asks me:

"Hey, did you hear about that actress that stabbed her husband to death yesterday?"

"No, Really?"

"Yeah! It was Reese... uhh.. Reese SOMEbody..."

"Witherspoon?"

"No, with a knife"

(rimshot and fade to black)

 

[Rolex]

I love BAD, BAD puns, and that was certainly one of the worst I've ever heard.
Thank you so much, I'll be irritating people with that one every time her name is mentioned.

The rim shot is what really made it.