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Joke: Bluenecks

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Rolex

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Bluenecks ARE NORTHERNERS... Some of these also apply to the folks in California.
I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins:

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:


1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
5. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried or boiled.
6. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
7. You have no idea what a polecat is.
8. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
9. You don't have bangs.
10. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
11. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
12. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
13. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
14. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the the head football coach salary.
15. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to even mention duct tape!)
16. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway.
17. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
18. You call binoculars opera glasses.
19. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of road and stopping.
20. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
21. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan).
22. You don't have doilies, and you don't know how to make one.
23. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
24. You can do your laundry without quarters.
25. None of your fur coats are homemade.
 
OK, fine. Looks like I'm a blueneck. Why? Because I have 2 daughters. And I refer to them as "you guys".
I also fit #1, 3, and 7.
 
What about #16, Candyman? It's every New Yorker's goal on a daily commute, unless you're too far upstate to work in the city. I had a half hour ride in when I lived there.

FastEddy said:
You guys must have been following me around.

Yes, we seem to be stalking each other on the forums tonight.
 
Now I really like that one. Funny poop!

Speaking of which I had fried okri for supper last night. With a tomato sandwich. mmm'mmm
 
Rolex said:
What about #16, Candyman? It's every New Yorker's goal on a daily commute, unless you're too far upstate to work in the city. I had a half hour ride in when I lived there.

Sadly, where I live now, a traffic jam is 4 cars stuck behind a hay wagon. And for a city boy (raised in Syracuse) like me, that drives me nuts. Luckily I'm moving back to Syracuse at the end of the month and I can finally rejoice in exercising my middle finger again....
 
Didn't know that. Wonder why that is? Thanks.
 
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