- Messages
- 35,104
- Reaction score
- 1,856
- Points
- 2,198
- Location
- In my recliner
- RC Driving Style
- Bashing
- Flying
How kin ya tell yor inna Redneck Church?
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.....
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
knows how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't git out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
something too heavy.
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with
the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
the collection plates are hub caps from a '55 Chevy.
instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
"Thou shalt not covet" includes sheep and hunting dogs.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come
back now! Ya' hear?
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.....
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
knows how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't git out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
something too heavy.
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with
the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
the collection plates are hub caps from a '55 Chevy.
instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
"Thou shalt not covet" includes sheep and hunting dogs.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come
back now! Ya' hear?
