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A dictionary to better understand women...

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SMaxxin

SLAP YA MAMA
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My wife just sent me an email with this.

A dictionary to better understand women...

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

For those that think this is confusing....Wait until you get married LOL
 
Ill have to keep that in mind for later use. Ill show it to my brothers later.. they are both married... lol
 
ImBroken said:
Are you kiddin, that book will never be finished... lol
Great stuff..


No way will that book ever be finished.... they will just add to it as they see fit.... that is one thing I have learned early on.... Women can change there mind several times without notice and expect you to be on the same page...

That and always say "I'm Sorry" and "Yes Dear"
 
godale03 said:
No way will that book ever be finished.... they will just add to it as they see fit.... that is one thing I have learned early on.... Women can change there mind several times without notice and expect you to be on the same page...

That and always say "I'm Sorry" and "Yes Dear"


LMFAO isnt that the truth no matter what you do, there is just no way ever to figure them out hehe
 
Plaidfish said:
LMAO....reading that feminazi propoganda made my female pee pee ache.....
Dude you are starting to worry me lol first the pink jump suit and now this :shrug: lmao






















:jk:
 
WomenExplainedbyEngineers.jpg


Mr T
 
JESSE G said:
Dude you are starting to worry me lol first the pink jump suit and now this :shrug: lmao
:jk:


Pink Jump suit!!!!????? Cmon Plaid you gotta share that one again!!!! :)
 
Dude no doubt..... PMS makes everything worse by 20 times..... all bets are off.
 
lmao you got that right, just hide under the bed untill its over hehe
 
Hell.... in a different time zone if possible! ... or the second choice... crashed out on your buddies couch. :shrug:
 
LOL lucky for me my wife isnt that bad she is really cool but I have to be carefull that time of the month what I say to her and when to give her space :)
 
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