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Tweak

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My wife, Lena is currently attending nursing school at a specialty institution here in Houston. She has been in nursing school for three years now, and is gradutaing next year. Throughout her schoolday, she has several different classes she must attend, and on Fridays, the worst class of all comes around- Her "Clinical"

Ok, Now I will get to the point. Lena attends clinical every friday. The Clinical is esentially a day wherin a nursing student acompanies a nurse around for the day, helping him/her with whatever they may need, Giving medications and other small tasks. One Teacher- in this case she will be Ms. X instructs and cordinates the actions of up to thirty individual students. Now, Ms. X does not necesarily have a great reputaion around the campus. She s often rash, rude and overbearing. Allthough some may attribute this to "tough love" or the fact that the students learn better, she is still a very crude person none-the-less.

This Friday, Lena was in her clinical and got asked to answer a question. unfortunately she answered incorrectly, and was reprimanded and told the correct answer. This friday however, happend to be a special day. On this day, Select students from the freshman nursing class were attending the clinicals, as well as eating lunch with the instrutors. Now, the problem is Ms. X and another instructor got into a conversation about the progress of the class Ms. X teaches during lunch. The younger student was privvy to the conversation and overheard ms. X talking extremely rudely about several students in the class, including my wife. not only does this implicate a breach of confedintiality, but also would classify as slander IMO.

Now the main question comes along. Lena of course, got wind of what had happened this evening and asked ME what she could do. Her and several other students are very angry at this teachers actions, while none are big on "going over someones head" and taking the matter up a level to, you got it- The president of the school in Denton, Texas. What can she do? there seems to be no way to simply solve the matter with the instructor, as the same thing has happened before. She feels this will be a kind of David and Goliath encounter. Is there any possible way to solve a situation like this without stepping on the wrong toes?
 
Tweak said:
My wife, Lena is currently attending nursing school at a specialty institution
I nurse quite well. If tutoring is needed I will be more then glad to come over and show her how its done. I love to nurse, its my 2nd favorite hobby :D


On a serious note, it sounds like a no win situation to bring it up. The best thing to do is study harder and kiss some ass till its all over. The last thing she needs is to get a black mark in her file for making trouble. She needs to remember that the school is going to be her only reference for beginning her new occupation.

She may want to ask the butthead teacher for some help, or counseling as well as picking up her dry cleaning and wash her car.
 
What ed said pretty much sums it up. I've dealt with people like that in the past, and the only thing you can do is take it "like a man" and work through it.
 
Actually, yes there is, and if Lena plays her cards right, she'll be the hero to Ms. X.

Suggest to Lena that she arrange for a one-on-one meeting with Ms. X. It could be for lunch, after class, whatever; so long as it is not during a clinical round (this is key.) Ms. X will no doubt ask what for, to which Lena should say something along the line of simply wanting the opportunity to discuss her progress in her studies and to welcome any constructive criticism Ms. X may have. The best line I ever used when I met with my direct manager was, "Please, don't talk to me about the 90% I'm doing right, help me correct the 10% I'm falling short on so I may improve my performance." First time I said that, my manager (who reminds me of Ms. X) nearly fell out of his chair. It completely took him by surprise and totally disarmed him! No doubt, he was ready to open me up like a can of tuna and fully expected me to become defensive, which would have only added fuel to the fire. Once I said that, the playing field leveled a bit and he saw that I was genuinely interested in hearing his opinion. I took in what he said and he made some valid points. Some of the other things he said were typical manager BS, but I at least paid attention. Within three months I was peer level to him.

Lena's instincts may be to either confront Ms. X directly or go above her head. Confrontation is healthy, so long as it is done without emotion. It may be wise for Lena to simply state to Ms. X that she heard Ms. X's opinion of herself (Lena) isn't the most positive and that she (Lena) would appreciate understanding why so that Lena may improve. Again, the goal is to disarm Ms. X, steal her thunder early. Anytime a student asks Ms. X for a meeting, no doubt Ms. X expects an emotional confrontation devoid of any real substance, so she prepares for that. If Lena changes tactics, it takes Ms. X out of her comfort zone, so without having to address the emotional aspect of the situation, all she can do is give Lena the constructive advice Lena needs.

If Ms. X tries to escalate it into an emotional confrontation, that is when Lena should take it to Ms. X's director. The most important thing to remember is for Lena to NOT get sucked into any games Ms. X tries to play. Keep it professional and above board. If things get heated, Lena should politely excuse herself and walk away. Don't give Ms. X any ammunition should it go to the next level. At all costs, Lena should not hesitate to escalate the issue if need be. Not doing so will only empower Ms. X further.

I hope this helps! Best wishes!
 
Send her in Wired for sound.
Nothing is better then a pocket recorder.
 
Monkey Wrench said:
Actually, yes there is, and if Lena plays her cards right, she'll be the hero to Ms. X.

Suggest to Lena that she arrange for a one-on-one meeting with Ms. X. It could be for lunch, after class, whatever; so long as it is not during a clinical round (this is key.) Ms. X will no doubt ask what for, to which Lena should say something along the line of simply wanting the opportunity to discuss her progress in her studies and to welcome any constructive criticism Ms. X may have. The best line I ever used when I met with my direct manager was, "Please, don't talk to me about the 90% I'm doing right, help me correct the 10% I'm falling short on so I may improve my performance." First time I said that, my manager (who reminds me of Ms. X) nearly fell out of his chair. It completely took him by surprise and totally disarmed him! No doubt, he was ready to open me up like a can of tuna and fully expected me to become defensive, which would have only added fuel to the fire. Once I said that, the playing field leveled a bit and he saw that I was genuinely interested in hearing his opinion. I took in what he said and he made some valid points. Some of the other things he said were typical manager BS, but I at least paid attention. Within three months I was peer level to him.

Lena's instincts may be to either confront Ms. X directly or go above her head. Confrontation is healthy, so long as it is done without emotion. It may be wise for Lena to simply state to Ms. X that she heard Ms. X's opinion of herself (Lena) isn't the most positive and that she (Lena) would appreciate understanding why so that Lena may improve. Again, the goal is to disarm Ms. X, steal her thunder early. Anytime a student asks Ms. X for a meeting, no doubt Ms. X expects an emotional confrontation devoid of any real substance, so she prepares for that. If Lena changes tactics, it takes Ms. X out of her comfort zone, so without having to address the emotional aspect of the situation, all she can do is give Lena the constructive advice Lena needs.

If Ms. X tries to escalate it into an emotional confrontation, that is when Lena should take it to Ms. X's director. The most important thing to remember is for Lena to NOT get sucked into any games Ms. X tries to play. Keep it professional and above board. If things get heated, Lena should politely excuse herself and walk away. Don't give Ms. X any ammunition should it go to the next level. At all costs, Lena should not hesitate to escalate the issue if need be. Not doing so will only empower Ms. X further.

I hope this helps! Best wishes!

Are you a man of the cloth??? Sounds a lot like my Dad (the reverend) and my brother (the minister), both of which are pentecostal (strict baptist).

All good advice. Taking a person like X head on in anger will get your wife nowhere fast. Going above X will also lead to a not so good place.
 
Hell no! If anything, I'm the anti-christ! Just know how to play the game!

By the way, your mailbox is full!
 
Here's what i would do,Kick Ms. X in the fiddlesticking head and make sure she's well hated.
 
Monkey Wrench said:
Hell no! If anything, I'm the anti-christ! Just know how to play the game!
I know the game as well, but probably for different reasons. Being :preachin: at for 18 years will do that...

Monkey Wrench said:
By the way, your mailbox is full!

Not anymore... aparently my "auto" pay didn't happen again and I've been demoted from "paying member" to whatever I am now...
 
Dang Monkey wrench, I didn't know Dr. Phil was an R/C buff! That is very good advice, though. Bring Ms. X down a couple notches and then show her some genuine concern about how your doing and how to improve. In a way, she will still feel like the bigshot she is, but hopefully without the attitude. Good call!!!:cheers:
 
If what the instructor said about the students was bad enough...go to the top with it as a group. Would any other students go with Lena to a Dean..or yet..the President of the school? Denton is a bit of a drive so call him. His # should be easliy acessed. The best thing in this case (IMO) if anything is brought up to anyone...is to stick together.

If it pissed me off enough..which is what it sounds like with Lena and the other students..Id sure do something.
 
Just don't get pissed and do something out of line. I'm sure she'll handle it.
 

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