5 minute management course

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destrucktomaxx

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RC Driving Style
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5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door
neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to
drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel
and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who
was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about
the $800 he owes
me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown up to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand
up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he
let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is
weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look
up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find
glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great Opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me
first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in
Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office
after
lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson
4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also
sit like you and Do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
rested. All of a sudden
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.



Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree'
sighed the turkey,
but I haven't got the energy.

''Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?'
replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of
the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second
branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree..


Moral of the story:
Bull poop might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so
cold the bird Froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not
everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of poop is Your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep poop, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
 
LMAO

Off to send it around the office now.
 
Yeah no kidding.....Now I am off...I remember Psalm 129....heh heh heh.
 
A wise man once told me, "Be careful whom you step on while on your way to the top, because they will be working for you once you get there".
 

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